when a silly person runs up to a house and credit card swipes his/her ass on another person's doorknob and smears shit all over the knob.
jack: you want to go ding dong ditching tomorrow?
brian: nahh man, lets go rub our asscracks on peoples doorknobs.
jack: oh so create a few danish doorknobs?
when a flamboyant midget negro runs by awkwardly (on account of the midgetness) during the mardi gras celebration and latches his tiny little fingers onto a slutty college girl's exposed nipples.
becky: oh my god brittney! last night some little black guy ran by and grabbed my nipples when i was flashing some old guy. *shows brittney her nipples*
brittney: dayyyummm girl! thats one hell of a new orleans nipple twist!
when a woman over 300 LBs begins to hop excitedly about food.
i had my birthday at the bennigans down the street and my mom revealed my huge ice cream cake. everyone was calm except for some jolly ol' fat ass named betty 5 tables down. she began to perform an arkansas titty-bounce. i then proceeded to puke.
when one is very upset with a current popsicle licker that goes to the bathroom, leaving the other person alone with their popsicle, and that person decides to rub the popsicle all over his/her pubic region.
linda: what the fuck!?
becky: whatever linda its not big deal, i gotta shit!
linda: *whispering* ill show you a fuckin' big deal *rubs popsicle around pubic region*
becky: *walks out while linda is in the act* what the fuck linda! you cant just make pubesicles for everyone you have a problem with!
linda: whos gonna stop me?!
person who interrupts a danish doorknobbing.
jack: damn man my ass is soooo dirty!
mr. fredrickson: hey dickweeds! get your ass off my doorknob! *jack and brian run away*
jack: fuck man that would have been a sick danish doorknob but that goddamn danish knob-halter ripped my asscheeks off!
brian: ...fuckin' ass hole.
when two brits get into a quarrel and one man has had enough and slaps the shit out of the other mans scrotum.
clyde: are you done with that tea?
russell: no, i am certainly not, now back up before i give your balls a hearty whack!
clyde: woah man! i am NOT down for a british ballslap!
when one man is so hammered drunk that he thinks everyone in the whole entire universe's ass is storing a rock for later use.
larry: woah, jim, are you alright?
jim: hell yeah!
larry: then why are you staring at franks ass so intensely?
jim: hes keeping a rock in there! i know it!
larry: frank, we gotta get the fuck out of her. jim's pulling an alabama ass-rock.
frank: good call! lets go!