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11 definitions by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09

 
1.
This is from one of those dumbass "Above the Influence" commercials where the kids are sitting in a diner and one says to another "hey we about to go get twisted, you in?". The definition of "twisted" is never revealed, which confuses the audience because, frankly, nobody in history has ever said they are getting fucking twisted.
Stereotypical Black kid 1: Aye Mane we bout to go get twisted, you in?

Stereotypical Black kid 2: What the fuck? Are you hitting one me? I told yo gay ass I don't go that way! Shit I'm bout to get high and say fuck yall niggas. You can go twist ya dicks together for all I care!
by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 05, 2010
190 93
 
2.
The epitome of ass-kissery. As soon as you walk into a Lowe's, your ass saturated with the spit of every employee that crosses your path; but it is not their fault, because it is what they have been constantly told to do every day. Lowe's is built upon the model of "excellent, excruciatingly-paranoid, money-pinching, annoying, ass-kissing, customer-focus". The best thing to do when you see a "red vest" is to cut a corner and run. These people are already stressed enough with the dumbass questions that get flung at them every day so one more question is just one more reason for them to eat a bullet.
Customer walks in Lowe's:

"HI! BILLY MAYS HERE WITH Lowe's Home Improvement WAREHOUSE! WE HAVE LOTS OF ITEMS TO HELP YOUR EVERY NEED FOR EVERY SITUATION! HOW MAY WE BE OF SERVICE TO YOU TODAY SIR OR MA'AM???"

Customer: Holy fucking ass crackers! Can I not look at the fucking power tools without being bombarded by damn service? Fuck this I'm going to Home Depot where people leave me the hell alone!
by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 10, 2010
21 2
 
3.
The biggest fucking joke in Ole Miss football history. Hired on to Ole Miss after they fired a great coach, David Cutcliffe, he took the Rebels on a trip down loser lane. He recruited great players and couldn't do shit with any of them. He now gets into bar fights in Baton Rouge and has sex with multiple prostitutes while masturbating to pictures of better college coaches. His impact on Ole Miss football was grave in that the coach that replaced him, Houston Nutt, had an array of talent to work with. But once that talent ran out, the Orgeron draft picks showed Nutt's true color. Nutt and Orgeron are soon to be best drinking buddies. Cheers
Preppy Ole Miss Ass Clown: Ed Orgeron sucks my ass! Houston Nutt is the greatest coach who has ever lived!

Dillon: Yeah says the team thats 4-8 two years after Orgeron left. Hmmmmm.....
by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 05, 2010
5 3
 
4.
A statement that's made when something is intensely shocking that no other phrase can satisfy the gravity of the situation appropriately.
Jim: Holy Fucking Ass Crackers that dude just totally broke his hand using a shake weight!

Bob: That's what he gets for using a fucking shake weight.
by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 November 30, 2010
5 3
 
5.
Government. Also can be used to described management or any chaotic situation involving many people. AKA "clusters".
The United States Government is a clusterfuck.
by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 14, 2010
3 2
 
6.
It is the same as the Rusty Violin, except the user is of larger stature.
Your mom's fatass gave herself a rusty cello. How does it feel knowing what I do to your mother when you are not around?
by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 December 05, 2010
3 2
 
7.
n. The term that is used when someone hooks up with someone via facebook. Also known as "facebook fuck buddies".
"I just added this hoe to my friends on facebook and we're already making plans on when and where we're going to fuck. Ima faceboning muthafucka!"
by yourmomlovesmyjohnson09 March 13, 2011
3 3