1 definition by you cant be me im a pirate

Top Definition
A character in Stephenie Meyer's amazing book twilight. Also the sequels,New Moon and Eclipse and the upcoming Breaking Dawn. He has red hair,topaz colored eyes and is in love with a human girl named Bella Swan though he is a vampire. Edward is loved by many girls all over the world,though I'm not sure why.

If I were Bella,I'd kill myself being stuck with him. Edward is boring,too lovey-dovey for his own good and sucks up to Bella. He doesn't let her do anything,and his politeness makes me sick to my stomach. Sometimes I want to puke thinking of him. In Eclipse,Edward seduced Bella into having sex with him. Then Bella decided she wanted to screw him,and he rejected her.

Edward's main competition is only Jacob Black,the wild,witty,and hott werewolf who actually has a life and isn't dull unlike some vampires. Edward is a 107 year old virgin. Meaning,the one hundred and seven long years of his life he hasn't gotten laid. Unless he did,and he can't remember. Old man. He lost all human memories,so he's lying to Bella when he says " I've never felt the way I feel for you,for anyone else before". Bull shit. He can't remember. He probably screwed tons of girls and said the same shit to other hags.

Bella's neediness for him makes me sick. She has Jake,Mike Newton,Edward,Tyler,Eric and she isn't fucking satisfied. Does she want Edward or Jake? She keeps running back to the two of them. The stupid,corny clutz should choose someone. If she doesn't want Jake,I'll have him.

Obsessed fan: Gosh,I love Stephenie Meyer! I love how she made Edward so loving and charming!
Normal person: Edward is loving and everything,but he's not sane! Gosh,how I hate these lovey dovey women authors writing romance novels with their heads in the clouds. They don't know what the hell a real MAN is! A real man would be trying to screw her,seducing her,and touching her as he sleeps in her bed with her every night!

" Your exactly my brand of heroin." - Edward Cullen.
" Your REALLY getting on my nerves." - Me

"'And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,' he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.
'What a stupid lamb,' I sighed.
'What a sick, masochistic lion.'"
' What a stupid vampire,and a human girl who is WAY out of her league."

- Edward,Bella,Me
by you cant be me im a pirate September 08, 2007

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