The friend request sent right after meeting someone for the first time.
After meeting Ryan at the party, Dave sent him a post-acquaintance friend request to secure their friendship.
Stop looking up random sexual phrases and finish your English assignment. The teacher's behind you too.
How do you not know what intercourse means in the first place? Oh yeah.. you probably never experienced it.
Stupid people spending money they don't have on shit they don't need.
HOLY SHIT, THE MICROWAVES ARE ON SALE?! I HAVE TO BUY ALL OF THEM BECAUSE IT'S BLACK FRIDAY!
*slips on a banana peel and gets trampled to death*
A once-great website about average everyday tasks.
The first few posts were actually average (examples below), but now nothing that anyone ever posts is average. I think people are mistaking the A for awesome.
Every MLIA talks about the following topics:
-People finishing songs that other people are singing
-Reading things with a British accent
-"Funny" directions on packaging
-Pirates vs. Ninjas
-Google vs. Yahoo!
And similarly, every MLIA post ends with one of the following:
-Best. _______. Ever.
-New favorite _______? I think so.
-I regret nothing.
-I'm still confused.
-I still have questions.
-This kid is going places.
-I love ______.
Basically, you could write some bullshit story about Harry Potter and slap one of those totally original endings to it, and people will think you're the embodiment of Jesus Christ.
AVERAGE post: Today, I briefly considered getting car insurance, before realizing that I didn't want to deal with it at the moment. Then I had some trail mix. MLIA
RETARDED post: Today, one of my friends told me to go to Google and type in 'finding chuck norris' in the search box and click 'i'm feeling lucky.' When I did, the response was 'Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.' Best thing ever? I think so. MLIA.
Can you pick out the average one? I sure fucking can't!
EXTRA CREDIT: Figure out which one hasn't been done 9000+ times to win a fabulous prize.
A type of shit that feels as if you're passing a boulder. It takes a minimum of a half hour for it to come out, and it usually requires you to stretch out your asshole like Goatse and/or shake it out.
Person 1: Dude, you've been in the bathroom for an hour now.
Person 2: I'm taking a watermelon shit; that White Castle
didn't agree with me.
1. Buy jeans from another store.
2. Set them down in the street.
3. Run them over with a monster truck repeatedly.
4. Jack up the prices and sell.
Honestly, why do people buy Abercrombie jeans and think they look cool? It's fucking repugnant.
The cheapest Halloween costume ever.
All you have to do is cut off a bunch of tree branches and glue them to your scalp, and you've got the hair down.
Person 1: Why do you have branches on your head?
Person 2: That's supposed to be Coolio's hair.
Person 1: OHHHH. Now I see it. -high five-