86 definitions by woody thomas

A bit of folklore widely beleived to be real but that never actually happened.

Examples:

The Babe Ruth "called shot" at Wrigley Field where he pointed to the centerfield scoreboard and then hit the next pitch there.

Zsa Zsa Gabor was on the Johnny Carson show with a cat on her lap and said 'Johnny, vood you like to pet my poo-see?'
To which he replied 'Sure, move the cat.'

Arnold Palmer's wife was on the Carson show and said that before every tournament, 'I kiss his (golf) balls for good luck,' and Johnny said, 'well I'll bet that makes his putter stand up.'

Richard Gere once went to an emergency room to have a gerbil removed from his ass.

Rod Stewart once had to have his stomach pumped due to swallowing an excessive amount of semen

Keith Richards went to Switzerland to have his blood replaced with new blood as an attempt to kick heroin

Jim Morrison flashed his dick at a concert in Miami

Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a live bat

Wilt Chamberlain fucked over 20,000 women
Most urban myths are bullshit
by Woody Thomas August 23, 2007

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The subject of hilarious underground comics circa 1970. The Freak Brothers, along with their contemporary Doper Dan, were hippie slackers whose only ambition in life was to get stoned. It is advised to be very stoned when reading these publications.
After getting stoned out of my mind, I fell on the floor laughing and yelling 'author!' 'author!' after reading the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers.
by Woody Thomas May 30, 2007

The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

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a light pat on the derriere of a female by a male, usually a co-worker, usually at a company Christmas party
after having a few beers, I gave Michelle a little Christmas goose, and she giggled
by Woody Thomas April 08, 2007

The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

Create a mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

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The most sadistic and bloodthirsty pro wrestler of all time. Used sharp objects to carve up opponents' foreheads and also threw "fire" in their faces. The fire was actually flash paper that The Sheik was somehow able to ignite and give the illusion he was producing a fireball out of thin air. His real name was Ed Farhat and he died in 2003 at age 76.
The Sheik and Abdullah the Butcher had a gore-fest of a match.
by Woody Thomas December 23, 2006

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

Create a mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

Buy the t-shirt

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

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A variation of bingo, but instead of calling out letters/numbers, the caller describes things that can be seen at Wal-Mart, and the players cover squares on their cards if described scene is on a square.

Examples:

a poopy diaper in the parking lot

a 250 lb. 13 year old boy with his 350 lb. father and 450 lb. mother

an old man outside the store with an oxygen tank and smoking a cigarette

an infant wearing a Dale Earnhart t-shirt

a 30 year old woman with her pregnant 14 year old daughter

an obese white woman with 3 bi-racial kids

in the parking lot, a beat up 1981 van, out of which spills empty White Castle boxes when the door is opened

etc
Wal-Mart Bingo is fun
by Woody Thomas March 12, 2010

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

Buy the t-shirt

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

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A directive given to someone in anger or displeasure
oh, why don't you just eat some fuck, asshole!
by Woody Thomas August 04, 2007

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

Create a mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

Buy the t-shirt

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt
when you blow snot out of your nose onto the ground because you don't have a kleenex or hanky to use.
The cold air made my nose run, so I did a sailor's handkerchief on the street.
by Woody Thomas August 16, 2006

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

Create a mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

Buy the t-shirt

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt