Noun. Spent nuts are the male testicles after having been drained of all semen. They need a prolonged period to regenerate. Typically happens after an intense session of masturbation.
Dude 1: "Wow man, I had an amazing night thinking about your mom. I got spent nuts today."
Dude 2: "WTF?"
Military. A very unpleasant thing. So named from squadie wanking contests. The resulting 'barrack room biscuit' is covered in a lot of spoodge (and is usually force fed to the last man to shoot).
Dude 1: "D'ya see that chick's face in 'Bukkake Cum-fest Volume 9'? What a mess!"
Dude 2: "Yeah, Dawg. Bad as a barrack room biscuit."
A fine crafted shit. Not a weedy poop, but a solid, good coloured bolt of thick copper which one can be proud of.
McShite: "I was blocked up but had 5 pints last night. Perfect copper bolt this morning."
McBooger: "Fair play, sir. Fair play."
A device used to assess the shagability of a chick. Ranging from zero to ten, the fuckometer gives a graded scale which dudes can use to compare tail.
Dude 1: "Your mom's a fox, dude. She's 9 on the fuckometer."
Dude 2: "WTF?!!?"
A sadistic sexual practice in which a male coats his penis in muscle-rub (a medicinal heat rub such as Deep Heat, Fiery Jack or Menthol-Balm) and then has anal sex with another person who is unaware that they are being injected with the muscle-rub. Within minutes, the recipient’s sphincter and rectum while become irritated and can be likened to a volcanic crater.
Dude 1: "Yo, I totally freaked out my girlfriend the other night!"
Dude 2: "How so?"
Dude 1: "I'd just come back from the gym, still had my Deep Heat in my pocket and gave her a volcanic crater for a laugh!"
British Noun. An afternoon wank, especially between 4pm and 6pm, as often as not while at work.
Dude 1: "I was so bored yesterday at the office I nearly lost my mind."
Dude 2: "No shit, man. How'd ya survive the day?"
Dude 1: "Went off for a tea-time tug."
This is when two pimps work together and trade bitches. If a pimp has a good bitch in his stable and she does good tricks, another pimp might want to ply her to his customers.
Pimp give the other pimp a call and they trades. Like Wall Street, but with skanks not shares.
"Yo bwoi, commerce is good. Check it dawg, if I ain't got it now, I can do pimp-2-pimp and get yo a choice ho."