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Two separate mosh pits divided by a line of douche bags who refuse to mosh
There's a mosh pit over here and a mosh pit over there, but you bunch of douche bag mosh pit taint are getting in the way, just pick a f'ing side
When you can't tell if a female co-worker made a tuna sandwich or sat on the counter
Co-worker 1: did you make a tuna sandwich?
Co-worker 2: No why?
Co-worker 1: Wash out that tuna pouch...
Something that smells terrible but is too cute to stay away from
Scared spectator: Your dog has explosive diarrhea!!!
Owner: Yeah he's such a stinky winker!
When the Amish mix electricity with fire to sell fireplaces to "the English"
Amish 1: The "heat surge" takes up as much electricity as a coffee maker
Amish 2: You have an electric coffee maker?
When your co-worker is such a whore you need a full bio-hazard suit to be able to be in the same room
Co-worker 1: I can't believe she is such a whore
Co-worker 2: She's so full of syphilis I think it's airborne.
Girl: What is wrong doctor?
Doctor: You were such a dirty whore you created a new strand of syphilis, I'm afraid you are the cause of airborne syphilis
a combination of toothpaste poop and peanut butter placed strategically throughout the hair to create dreadlocks
Person 1: your dreadlocks look great how did you make them
Person 2: I combined my poo with peanut butter and toothpaste of course and thought it would look great in my hair
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