1. This is used when saying holy crap just doesn't do the situation justice. When someone shouts "Holy crap on a stick!", the best thing to do is run quickly in the direction from which the shout came. Otherwise you might miss something totally once-in-a-lifetime-awesome.
2. A chunk of heavenly-blessed feces on a broken off tree branch. Grants wishes. Smites evil.
1. Jimmy rushed out of the men's room and shouted "Holy crap on a stick! Have you guys seen the mural of the nativity scene done in urine and soap in there?!!"
2. That old lady's staring at my boxers. Time to smite.
When you just barely escape an area after some serious shiz goes down. Usually involves fleeing from incoming cops, or somebody's really strong mother.
My buddies and I lit fire to Mrs. Lindon's rose beds while she was home. I got my tail over the fence, but Rico and Hugh got sodomized by a mop handle.
1. When the prostitutes in town get so overloaded with STDs that it becomes visible via fungus growth, and you are forced to migrate to another part of the city to find ones with a health rating of at least 23%.
2. When a straight person turns gay, or vice versa.
1. I'm gonna start plowing new ground around 4th street tonight man. Last night one of the regulars on 3rd blew up a car with her yeast infection.
2. Fred's hanging around the women's section in Kmart for a different reason since he's turned straight. He's plowing new ground now.
A rather large, handheld gun that fires pickles or other pickle-shaped objects. Favored weapon of the anal marauder
, who likes to assault victims from a distance, then close in for the violation.
Peter got hit in the eye by a mysterious vegetable shot from a handheld pickle cannon. He was one of the lucky ones.
When you have so much pent up sexual tension from lack of training the purple-headed warrior that you go kablam and sex up a hapless stuffed animal and/or glove.
When Jimmy's Easter celebration was over, he totally humped the shizzle out of Peter Cottontail.
The children of a hillbilly farmer whose actual produce failed during the year. He takes them to fairs to enter into contests instead of actual food, though they don't taste nearly as well. They usually can succeed well if entered as yams or squash. Poor kids have to live with that for the rest of their lives.
Jim Bob: Mah corns dinn't grow so wyell tis yar, so I took my two gyurls Wynona and Edbert to the fair! Hyuck. They won the squarsh contest!
One of several innocent-sounding responses which can be used by regular porn viewers when their parents/spouse(s) ask them what they're doing on the computer.
Mom: What're you doing?
Juan: Reading my email.
Mom: Oh cool. Can I read mine too?
Dad: Uh no honey, come back later...this is an important email. We'll be done in about an hour.