128 definitions by westfalia
| 57. | corporate insider | ||
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A friend or acquaintance that works inside a big corporation and is willing to give you sensitive information. Duder 1: "Oh snap! You can look up the CEO's email? What is it?"
Duder 2: "Let me check.......ok got it. It's bill.lumbergh@initech.com." Duder 1: "Sweet! I'm gonna go sign him up for some penis enhancements and post that shit on FaceBook. Thanks for being my corporate insider." |
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| 58. | home row slip | ||
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When you go and type something only to find that your fingers aren't on home row. Duder 1: where was your field trip doggy?
Duder 2: this place in Seattle, it was pretty fun. At least I got out of work. Duder 1: nivr Duder 2: what the fuck? Duder 1: *nice, lol, my fingers were off the home keys Duder 2: nice home row slip you fuck up |
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| 59. | booze bouncer | ||
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A powerful guy you tell to watch out for you and your buddies to make sure you don't get too fucked up drunk. Duder 1: "Ok guys let's make sure we get at least 2 songs down when we jam this weekend."
Duder 2: "Yea for sure. I hope we don't get too fucked up though." Duder 3: "Oh you know what we need? We need a booze bouncer! How about Rich?" |
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| 60. | nagging ammunition | ||
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Failures and let downs in your buddy's life which, if mentioned in front of his mother, would produce a nagging tirade. Duder 1: "So Mrs. G, I heard your son dropped out of college?"
Mrs. G: "Don't even get me started! How come your girlfriend is getting her second degree when you can't even get one? Don't you know how important an education is?" Duder 2: "Yes, mom I do. Thanks a lot you dick. Like I don't hear that enough without your help." Duder 1: "I'd just like to say thank you to your life for providing me so much nagging ammunition." |
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| 61. | available ass | ||
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The only girl that is in a guy's league. Most available ass is nasty and only snatched up by foreign kids that can't get with the hotter, more popular girls. Duder 1: "Whoa check out Italian homeboy with that big Samoan girl!"
Duder 2: "Wow! She stinks dude. And she's like a foot taller than him." Duder 1: "He's gotta take that. That's his only available ass!" |
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| 62. | suicidal dog | ||
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A canine that has a look on his face of utter despair. Each time you look a suicidal dog in the eyes it makes you wonder if the dog's ever going to try to commit suicide. Duder 1: "What the hell is wrong with your beagle dude? He looks like he wants to kill himself."
Duder 2: "I know man, he always looks like that." Duder 1: "You got yourself a suicidal dog for sure. Make sure you don't give him any rope to play with." |
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| 63. | suicide pause | ||
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A long period of painful, awkward silence when you're talking with your girl about something important. These long pauses make you seriously consider suicide. Duder: "I don't want you to stop flirting with asian guys because of me, I just want you to understand how I feel"
Chica : "Yeah, I know" *long silence* Duder: "What are you thinking?" Chica: "About what I should do" *long silence* Duder: "Damn, another suicide pause. Let's wrap this up before I go off the deep end." |
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