3 definitions by unemployed person

Top Definition
Great British institution that is usually found in most towns and cities.
Jobcentre plus offices are usually uninviting, depressing grey buildings that are responsible for getting the unemployed into work. It is staffed by patronising little tinpot dictators who think that every unemployed person is a workshy idle bum and that there are 5 jobs available for every dole claimant. They love threatening benefit sanctions for those that will not accept part time temporary agency work for national minimum wage.
The only vocabulary known to these staff is "What have you been doing to actively seek work since you last came - I must remind you that if I decide you have not been doing enough to actively seek work I will stop your benefit"
Jobcentre plus usually employs security staff and doormen to throw you out if you complain that your benefits have been sanctioned or you do not agree with a dictators decision.
Jobcentre plus is usually surrounded by chavs in their trackies smoking reefers and single teenage mothers with their kids and prams, and is generally a pretty unpleasant place to visit, as you are always made to feel guilty that you are even there in the first place.
Jobcentre plus is supposed to help you find work by offering a tailored support package to support each individual. In reality Jobcentre Plus expects you to find your own job and woe betide anyone that cant find their own job - as then you will be deemed to be in breach of your jobseekers agreement and benefit sanctions will ensue. Anyone who has their benefits sanctioned by Jobcentre Plus is then expected to steal and commit crime to be able to live.
You want to come out with us today Dave?
Nah, I've gotta go up Jobcentre Plus to get me benefits sanctioned!
by Unemployed Person April 22, 2009
Also known as JSA, this is the standard state handout to the unemployed in the UK.
Jobseeker's Allowance is paid by Jobcentre Plus to Jobseekers, who are required to actively seek work.
In order to receive Jobseeker's Allowance you must go to a branch of Jobcentre Plus so that a member of staff (a Dictator) can find out what sort or work you will have to look for - which is usually the most lowest paid, temporary and agency work. This will be called your Jobseekers Agreement.
If the dictator decides you are doing enough to find work, you will get paid a paltry sum that is not enough to live on.
In order to continue receiving Jobseekers Allowance, you must visit the Jobcentre Plus every 2 weeks - known as "Signing On" to show a dictator evidence of what you have done to find the work that is put down on your Jobseeker's Agreement.
This is very demeaning and the Dictator will make you feel very small and guilty that you are still a jobseeker.
If the dictator thinks you have applied for enough menial jobs but havent got one, you will be eligible for another payment of Jobseeker's Allowance.
You will then have to go back in another 2 weeks to do this again for your next payment of Jobseeker's Allowance.
If the Dictator decides you are not applying for enough jobs, he or she will stop your claim and you will no longer be eligible for any Jobseeker's Allowance.
I'm going up the pub tonight, got me Jobseeker's Allowance paid today!
by unemployed person April 22, 2009
A phrase used by Jobcentre Plus meaning looking for work.
It is a requirement of the Jobseekers Agreement in order to get state handouts.
Most people who cant be bothered to get a job dislike this word, as if jobsearch is not performed, their benefits get stopped.
The Government assumes that every unemployed person in the country should have to work, and hence they must participate in Jobsearch whether they like it or not, or they will have to go out and steal or other illegal activities for a living.
And then the Government wonder why there is so much crime in the country. It is due to dictators at Jobcentre Plus stopping the benefits of those who dont want to have to keep doing Jobsearch.
Jobsearch is a pointless waste of time in 2009 as there are so few unskilled jobs available.
You coming out for a drink Gaz?
Nah, gotta do Jobsearch or Jobcentre Plus will stop me benefits!
by unemployed person April 22, 2009

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