10 definitions by twilyth

Top Definition
Also, FailEx. Getting a delivery from FAIL Express means you get fail when you absolutely, positively DO NOT need it.

Etymology: A fictional version of Federal Express/FedEx that only delivers fail.
She thought everything was OK until FAIL Express delivered her pregnancy test.
by twilyth June 17, 2008
Someone who can find the most relevant but obscure information with a single, powerful search string. The sort of person the "I feel lucky" button was meant for.
I couldn't find anything on the effects of trade with the West on the economy of 18th century Japan, but Bob got it in one try. He is a google god.
by twilyth November 11, 2008
the state of being for a woman where she picks fights with men for no apparent reason. Her unfocused wrath is usually directed at all men but those closed to her will be on the receiving end of most of her shit.
So I went to buy a paper and saw that it was the last one. Before I could put my money in the slot, this cuntentious bitch walks over and tells me to fuck myself because it was her paper. As I was walking away she was mumbling some shit about how men weren't good enough to lick dog shit off of her shoes.
by twilyth February 21, 2010
Used to describe a load so epically massive that one's sphincter clamps shut in an attempt to block its passage. Ultimately, this fails and just when you try to force it out, your sphincter surrenders to the inevitable. The enormous girth combined with the force exerted results in a painful (and sometimes audible) ripping sensation.

The sphincter learns from this experience and will clamp shut even tighter the next time. There are unconfirmed reports of microscopic diamonds being formed from the intense pressure.

The most astounding characteristic of the sphincterror is the complete loss of any will to brag about or display the result of this "achievement."
girl: you were in there a long time. Do you feel better?

guy: lips quiver in an attempt to speak

girl: oh no! Tell me it wasn't a sphincterror!!!
by twilyth September 23, 2009
noun, MUS-doosh, a douchey mustache. Usage is subjective but generally refers to a thin, closely cropped mustache.
1st guy: Have you seen Kyle?

2nd guy: Yeah. Looks like he's trying to grow a musdouche. LOL.
by twilyth July 13, 2010
collateralized dumb ass obligations

A CDO, or Collateralized Debt Obligation, is generally a standardized investment product which consists of various real or synthetic assets.

When the assets consist wholly of mortgages from buyers who are too stupid to realize that they will never be able to pay them back - ever - in this or any other universe - they become CDAOs.
Banker 1: Hey Joe, did you finish normalizing the risk distribution of the tranches for that CDO.

Banker 2: I'm not going to bother. It's a CDAO, so it's not worth the bother.

Banker 1: Booyah! Keep fuckin' that chicken.
by twilyth June 22, 2010
The waxy buildup in your nose that you get from snorting some weak ass shit that your "cool" friend got for you. It results from dope being stepped on so many times that it basically becomes a homeopathic remedy rather than a drug.
'Honey, you should blow your nose before we go out. You've got some crank boogers.'
by twilyth June 28, 2009

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