An obese woman with freakishly gigantic breasts who looks way older than her actual age. Often you awake one morning, a frighteningly short time after the wedding, to find yourself in bed beside a tittipotamus, instead of the cute but chubby girl you married. Screams at you when upset, hogs all the covers, and snores like a hibernating Grizzly, thus ensuring that you spend many nights on the couch where you lie awake cursing the boob-fetish that got you caught, for the rest of your miserable life, in the loser trap.
"Jesus, buddy, WTF? Your squeeze turned into a tittipotamus."
"That poor fuck, Mike. Half his salary goes to keeping his tittipotamus in Twinkies and larger and larger sweatpants."
"That's not the sofa - that's my wife!" "Dude, she a tittipotamus!!!"
Cute but chubby trailer-trash who sucks you into proposing to her and buying her the expensive ring of her choice, by screwing your brains loose and dieting frantically to squeeze into a skintight wedding dress, which is of course color-coordinated with the decor at the tacky wedding you get to pay for, after which you get to support her and her children by several other men, while watching her balloon up to triple-chin hippo size within a couple of years.
"She set her loser trap and that idiot fell right in. He gonna be payin' for ever!"
"That fool got himself loser trapped. Now his life is completely over."
A busty chubby bride vacuum-sealed into a very shiny and cheap dress for the purpose of marrying some poor bastard - the final step in springing her loser trap. She will never fit into that dress ever again because within a very short time she will morph into a tittipotamus.
"What happened?? - the Rev says, "I now pronounce you man and wife" and then BOOM and there's scraps of maroon satin flying all over the place!" "It's your Bridesmoose, man! She blew up into a tittipotamus in record time! Keep her away from the buffet!"