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4 definitions by thedude78

 
1.
Grown ass women who take "selfies" of themselves with shit cell phone cameras wearing too tight outfits, while standing in the bathroom they're too lazy to clean while their kids wait for supper.. and then plaster them all over social networking sites.
Did you see his Mom's Facebook profile... She is such a Pathetiwhore..
by Thedude78 August 31, 2012
 
2.
When you pass up a night of fun with friends and family to sit around alone at your place with porn and masturbate over and over again. During this time you wonder periodically between sessions if you made the write choice. This will often start to seem like work, but since you already passed on the fun you might as well do a good job of punching the knuckle clock...
The whole place stank of jizz and loneliness. A tear ran softly down my cheek as i continued punching the knuckle clock..
by thedude78 September 04, 2012
 
3.
Baby Oil used as masturbation lube because you no longer have money for good lube. All because your wife talked you into having a baby just about 9 months before she decided that her vagina is some temple you're not worthy of praying in... and who the hell knew diapers were so expensive!!
Dude we never see you anymore, glad you could make it out tonight... *sniff* *sniff* .. Why do you smell like a girl..?
Sorry man, its that terrible smell of Johnson's Johnson sauce... It don't wash off
by Thedude78 September 20, 2013
 
4.
The involuntary response of ones anus to slam shut when taking an extremely large bowl movement. Although this may be a natural defense mechanism of the anus to prevent ripping, it generally causes severe pain and often bleeding.
Dude, I was hanging a giant loafer at my girlfriends the other day. I was about to blow an O-Ring when a peanut shard scraped my hole, and I did a wince clinch. I was stuck in there bleeding and crying for 20 minutes until I found one of her roommates heavy flow pads...
by Thedude78 September 19, 2013