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3 definitions by taintmonster

 
1.
One who resides in a trailer park and often finds themselves chained to a lawn chair and a six pack out in front of the double wide when the sirens begin to hum. Often resides in or near tornado alley and believes the "F" scale of tornado damage is actually the factor of "Fun".

See also Toby Keith's "Trailerhood" music video
Bo: How many people must die before we realize God hates trailer parks?

Forest: Easy, man! My Uncle Cletus is a tornado jockey!
by taintmonster December 29, 2011
 
2.
One who is fascinated and obsessed with their own and others' phallic. Usually the first to suggest a circle jerk or dutch rudder and often has a record for exposing himself in public.
Dude, we can't invite that Shawn C to poker nights anymore... he's a total crank jockey!
by taintmonster December 29, 2011
 
3.
The act of walking when one gets an unexpected chubby in a public place, such as at work, church, retirement home, Chuck E Cheese, or any other establishment where having a stiffy is innappropriate, to relieve a passion in the pants.
Bob: Hey Carl, how are you doing this morning?
Carl: Bob, don't talk to me while you have morning weiner... nobody appreciates the crank walk.
by taintmonster December 29, 2011