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4 definitions by skinupman

 
1.
Lapping on the vertical bacon sandwich
John: "Oh Mandy, my love is for you deeper than the ocean"

Mandy: "Oh John"

John: "Let me show you the depth of my feelings by lapping on your vertical bacon sandwich"

Mandy: "Ooooooooooohhh John.

John: "Slurp lick slurp" etc etc
by Skinupman November 26, 2004
 
2.
Klingons.

Singular : Klingon.

Undiligent wiping of the anus post defecation causes excrement to remain on the anal follicles. Eventually the excrement will dry and form tiny spheres that attach themselves to your anal follicles.
In extreme cases the "klingons" can encompass many follicles which can make them painful to remove.

Worf: A very large "klingon".
John entered the room looking depressed.
"What's wrong John? you look so unhappy" said Mandy.
"I went to the Doctor for an anal examination this morning but I forgot to shower. He told me go home and wash the "klingons" off my butt. I was so embarrassed" said John.
"Oh John. I do love you" said Mandy.
"I love you to" said John
by Skinupman November 21, 2004
 
3.
Scat : To eat excrement.

McScat : To eat a McDonalds burger.

HotScat: To empty ones bowels over the
wife 3 hours after eating a
very hot curry.

Scatter
gun : To drop a load on the missus
after dining heavily on lentils
which don't digest and turn the
anus into a machine gun.

Scat
blues : A disapointing end to the
nights fun due to excessive
straining caused by the
consumption of to many eggs.
John and Mandy were on their way home from the pub.
"Do you fancy a "McScat" Mandy?" said John.
"Eughh! not likely" said Mandy. "What about a curry"?
"We had a "HotScat" last week and the flat still stinks" said John. I fancy a "scattergun".
"Well I don't" said Mandy "those undigested lentils really hurt when they come firing out your arse at 100mph. I was covered in little bruises last time, as well as loads of shit" she added.
John frowned slightly and played lovingly with Mandys hair. "At least we won't have the "ScatBlues" tonight my love as I ate some king sized lavative bars earlier and I can feel some rumbling"
"Oh John, I love you" said Mandy.
"I love you to" said john.
by skinupman November 20, 2004
 
4.
Contricious:Verb:
To eat butt. to gnaw on another's butt, butteater. To dine on butt.

Noun: To buttdine.

Buttfeast (slg: Plural)=Group buttdining

Buttsom (slg: Singular)=Dining on ones
own butt
"My darling, my love grows stronger by the hour, let us go home and be contricious my sweet thang"
by Skinupman November 19, 2004