A colorless, tasteless, odorless vapor from that rises from teenage boys' crotches. The vapor has been proven to attract female high school teachers, hungry for an underage erection.
When combined with a tropical climate like Florida's, dick vapor becomes a potent compound, enveloping the boy in an invisible vapor cloud -- thus making him irresistible to the female faculty at his school.
"Mrs. Smith never used to pay attention to me until I started going through puberty and getting dick vapor. Now we have sex in the gym like every day. Plus, I have the best grade in class!"
Also known as CPS or Rudolph Cock, Clown Penis Syndrome is when the glans (head) of the penis turns bright red like a Bozo the clown's nose.
The condition can occur after trauma to the penis, but CPS can also be mimicked with the use of a red marker.
"I got drunk and passed out at my frat house. When I woke up, two of my fraternity brothers were sucking my dick. I was furious, but then I realized they also gave me Clown Penis Syndrome with a red marker (as a joke), so we all had a laugh."