14 definitions by shreve lamb and harmon

Top Definition
Broadway musical written by the late, great Jonathan Larson — who, for the record, was neither HIV-positive nor gay. Debuted in 1996 and still going strong. Essentially a modern re-write of Giacomo Puccini's beloved opera La Boheme, but with a happier ending and a score influenced heavily by pop, rock, and techno.

The main differences between La Boheme and Rent:

Paris in the early 19th century becomes New York in the early 90s


Rodolfo the playwright becomes Roger Davis the HIV-positive musician, former heroin junkie, looking to write one hit song before succumbing to the virus he contracted from his dead girlfriend (first played by Adam Pascal)

Marcello the painter becomes Mark Cohen the filmmaker, trying to make it big (first played by Anthony Rapp, once played by Joey Fatone of N'Sync)

Benoit the landlord becomes real estate mogul Benjamin Coffin III, former roomate to Mark and Roger and a symbol of the coming gentrification of the neighborhood and the eventual death or commercialization of Bohemia (first played by Taye Diggs)

Colline the philosopher becomes Tom Collins the HIV-positive anarchist, a computer geek who sabotaged MIT's virtual reality software and teaches part-time at NYU (first played by Jesse L. Martin of Law & Order fame)

Shaunard the violinist becomes Angel Dumot Schunard the street musician, an HIV-positive sometimes-transvestite and lover to Collins (first played by Wilson Jermaine Heredia, and more famously by Jai Rodriguez from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy)

Mimi, the rhematosis-infected, dying courtesan, becomes Mimi Marquez the Latina bondage performer, HIV-positive, nineteen years old and a junkie, Roger's love interest and former girlfriend of Benjamin (first played by Daphne Rubin-Vega)

Musetta becomes hipster homeless advocate and performance artist Maureen Johnson, a lesbian, Mark's former girlfriend who left him for her stage manager (first played by Idina Menzel, who later played the Wicked Witch of the West in Wicked)

Alcindoro, Musetta's wealthy benefactor, becomes Joanne Jefferson, Maureen's new girlfriend and stage manager, whose role is significantly expanded compared to in Boheme to suit her relationship with Maureen and love-triangle with Mark (first played by Fredi Walker, at one point played by Melanie Brown of the Spice Girls)

Tuberculosis and rheumatism, the diseases which plagued crowded urban centers in the 19th century, are replaced by AIDS, the scourge of the artistic community in the 80s and early 90s
A movie version of the musical, starring the entire original cast save for Daphne Rubin-Vega (who has been replaced by Rosario Dawson), is currently being filmed.

Much like how Puccini died before he could finish his last opera, Turandot, Jonathan Larson died the day before Rent debuted, of an undiagnosed aortic aneurysm stemming from his Marfan's syndrome.
by Shreve Lamb and Harmon July 28, 2005
Evil members of the Republican Party and supporters thereof who have abused children despite their high-and-mighty crusades for the return to moral values. The following is a partial list; due to the neocon obsession with NAMBLA, names with asterisks next to them are suitable for membership in that organization through their repulsive actions.

And feel free to research these people independently.
Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.

Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.

Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

Republican racist pedophile and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.

Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.

Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

*Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

*Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

Republican Congressman Donald "Buz" Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.

Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.

Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.

Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.

Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

Republican governor Arnold Schwarzenegger allegedly had sex with a 16 year old girl when he was 28.

*Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. "Republican Marty"), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.

*Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.

Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.

*Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.

Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl.

Republican anti-gay activist Earl "Butch" Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.

Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.

Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.

*Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.

Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children).

Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was charged with sexual misconduct involving a 15-year old girl.

*Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child.

Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.

Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters.

Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl.

*Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.

Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.

Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.

Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.

*Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.

Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a "good military man" and "church goer," was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.

Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.

Republican director of the "Young Republican Federation" Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.

Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was charged with rape for allegedly paying a 15-year old girl for sex. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.
by Shreve Lamb and Harmon July 24, 2005
A matrimonial union between two people of the same sex. Not a mockery of marriage because it implies a loving relationship between — and listen to these words closely — TWO. CONSENTING. ADULTS. If you honestly think that the next step is going to be bigamy, beastiality, or pedophilia, then you're really off your rocker because none of these things involve all three of those three words. Maybe you can make a case for incest, but that's more often practiced in the Bible Belt between straight people, anyway.
Ironically, the American state with the lowest divorce rate is Massachusetts, the center of gay marriage land; followed by Connecticut, New Jersey, Rhode Island, and New York. The American state with the highest divorce rate? Nevada, with Oklahoma, Tennessee, Wyoming and Indiana rounding out the bottom five.

That's right, the holier-than-thou Bible Belt has the highest divorce rates in the country, while the liberal Northeast has the lowest. Suck it dry, neocons.
by Shreve Lamb and Harmon September 21, 2005
Not In My BackYard: a person who opposes particular construction or projects in their community. Particularly prominent in New York City.

Good NIMBYism: Jane Jacobs opposing the construction of the Lower Manhattan Expressway, which would have eviscerated the present-day neighborhoods of SoHo, Greenwich Village, and TriBeCa; Jackie Kennedy saving Grand Central Terminal from demolition and replacement with an office tower.

Bad NIMBYism: Fighting the development of a nearby tall building because it might block your view; opposing a new subway line or water tunnel, which would benefit the city for years to come, because of construction noise in your neighborhood; opposing the expansion of the museum across the street because of minor inconveniences, even though it's the primary reason that your property is so valuable. I.E.: Being selfish

Iffy: People who fight LULUs, or Locally Unwanted Land Uses: developments or institutions that are needed, but that nobody wants near them, like homeless shelters or power plants.
Other forms of NIMBY include the NOPE
(Not On Planet Earth), the BANANA (Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone), and the TEDAO (Tear Everything Down At Once).
by Shreve Lamb and Harmon June 16, 2005
A euphemism for Democratic-voting states in the 2004 election, particularly in reference to the Northeast and West Coast.

Ironically, these states also have:

A) Most of the lowest crime rates in the nation.
B) The lowest divorce rates in the nation.
C) The highest quality of life in the nation.
D) The lowest ratio of federal aid to tax dollars paid in the nation.
The "blue states" may have their faults, but they outstrip the "red states" by most accounts.
by Shreve Lamb and Harmon September 21, 2005
Also known as Pennsylvania Station, the busiest rail station in the United States. The major Amtrak station on the Northeast Corridor and the terminal for New Jersey Transit and the Long Island Rail Road.

Once the grandest gateway into New York City, since 1962 has been little more than Madison Square Garden's basement, a mishmash of "modern" corridors, low ceilings, and endless rows of suburban chain stores. Its loss is comparable to — possibly even worse than — a similar "modernization" effort on London's late, great Euston Station around the same time.

The original terminal, designed by Beaux-Arts architects McKim, Mead and White and erected by the Pennsylvania Railroad in 1909, was a grand temple to rail travel which occupied four city blocks bounded by Seventh and Eighth Avenues and 30th and 33rd Streets. The Seventh Avenue facade was dominated by a collonade of granite pillars modelled after the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin. The main waiting room, designed to echo the Baths of Caracalla in Rome, featured a giant barrel-vaulted ceiling as high and long as the nave of Saint Peter's Basilica in the Vatican. And the main departure concourse featured a dramatic glass train shed which brought ample sunlight down to the train platforms themselves. Richly detailed sculptures abounded, including twelve statues of giant eagles which once perched all along the cornice of the station.

McKim, Mead and White had intended for their masterpiece to survive for 500 years; it barely lasted 53. With postwar rail travel on the decline, Penn Railroad merged with rival New York Central in the '60s to form Penn Central, which immediately set out with plans to "improve" Penn Station and its crosstown neighbor, Grand Central Terminal. Entering into deals with the owner of Madison Square Garden, Irving Felt, it was decided that both groups could maximize profits if the Garden were moved from its 1925 building on 51st and Eighth to a new, "modern" structure right on top of Penn Station. The result: the most supernal rail terminal ever to be built in the United States was dismantled and carted off to Secaucus, giving New Jersey the claim to having the world's most elegant dump. The banal replacement was "architect" Charles Luckman's oil drum that was the new MSG, paired with an ugly slab office tower, with plenty of cramped, claustrophobic, artificially-lit space for scurrying suburban commuters downstairs.

There was a silver lining to the loss of Penn Station, however. The public outcry was immense: the New York Times called it a "monumental act of vandalism" and "the shame of New York." Architectural historian Vincent Scully lamented, "Through (Penn Station) one entered the city like a god. Now one scuttles in like a rat." And Ada Louise Huxtable, the Times' architecture critic, warned, "We will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed."

The result of this outcry was the creation of the New York City Landmarks Commission, the first of its kind in any city in the U.S. Multiple buildings and districts in New York have been preserved since, particularly Grand Central Terminal, New York's last surviving grand gateway. Before it was declared a national landmark in 1978, it was very nearly razed in a similar venture by Penn Central — which went spectacularly bankrupt in 1970. Karma's a bitch.
The loss of Penn Station can probably never be undone, but some of the damage can be repaired and some civic penance can be done. In 2005, plans finally moved forward for many of Penn Station's operations to be moved into a new terminal across Eighth Avenue, to be housed in the Central Post Office which, serendipitously enough, was also designed by McKim. The new terminal, to be named after the late State Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan, will serve LIRR and NJT commuters, as well as some Amtrak riders. Hopefully, MSG will eventually be moved somewhere else and the current building will be demolished, allowing for something worthwhile to take its place.
by Shreve Lamb and Harmon July 31, 2005
Contrary to the uninformed beliefs of Gumba Gumba, is a game that was invented in the United States by a New Orleans sports teacher named Clara Baer. She had been learned of a new game called basketball which had been invented in Massachusetts in 1891 by Canadian immigrant James Naismith, and wrote to him asking about the rules.

Baer misunderstood certain aspects of the court lines that Naismith had included in a sketch enclosed in his response, and thus netball - originally known as women's indoor basketball - became a game quite distinct from Naismith's game. The first official game of netball was played in 1895.
Source: IFNA International Netball Weebsite.
by Shreve Lamb and Harmon June 24, 2005
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