16 definitions by shitty nicko

When a man awakes to find a piss rifle has arived and he must urinate.
As the penis is "angry" beyond all recognition,he must stand 4 or 5ft back,comence,and gradualy walk inwords as the flow recieds.He must walk in a very straight line to avoid splashing.
Sorry about the new rug,I had to walk the plank and I triped a little
by shitty Nicko November 19, 2004
When engagein in anal sex, the man waits until hes just seconds away from jizzing before ramming his fingers down his girl/boyfriends throat.This causes his victim to retch,and consequently tightens up the splinchter.This effect whilst cuming would feel quite good,I predict.
Oh Brian,lets get busy now the kids are having lunch,nnnyyeeeeaaasss!!

OK but no wolf bagging this time Roy
by shitty Nicko November 19, 2004
when reffering to a man: A man who is down to earth, caring, thoughtfull, laidback,etc

reffering to a woman : a lady who is f-ugly
Why wont you go out with my friend? She has a great personality!

Exactly,now fuck off!
by shitty Nicko November 18, 2004
The piss induced erection men wake up with,usualy after a few beers the night before.Second only to diamond in atomic rigidness it is impossible to bend down towards the toliet bowl for a hit and miss,forcing men to go walking the plank.
AKA: Dawn Horn,Morning Root,etc
Jesus christ,put that thing away you pervy little fuck!!

Sorry Mum,these boxers weren't built for piss rifles.
by shitty Nicko November 19, 2004
ESS
Empty Sack Syndrome: After a long day of "self dicipline" infront of a few porn DVD's, the bloke goes to have one last one before going to sleep. He is suffering from ESS if all he manages to conjure forth is a grunt and a wince.
No need for a joe-bag love, got a lend of Charlies Anal's of one of the lads and ive got a bad case of ESS!
by shitty Nicko November 19, 2004
the act of pushing one's ball bag through the buttoned hole at the front of mens boxer shorts
try it at home in front of mirror / girlfriend's pairents
by shitty Nicko November 17, 2004
A "man of leasure" who spends his days rambling from one place to another,with a cheerful smile and a knapsack and stick over his shoulder,greeting people warmly and brightining up their lives.

In the real world a lice ridden tramp with a can of wife beater in one hand and a HIV filled syringe in the other,pissing against your front door and shouting incoherrently at passers by .
I used to be in a highly stressed stock dealership,wastein my life at work.But now im addicted to crack ive become a gentleman of the road with all the spare time in the world!! Couldn't give us 50p for a cup a tea mate?
by shitty Nicko November 18, 2004

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