generally performed first thing in the morning before work starts and anyone is awake. sneak out to kitchen, turn lights on, start kettle boiling so as to make noise to act as the alibi proving you are in the kitchen, sneak very softly to the toilet an crank the shit outta yourself, sneak back out to kitchen then walk loudly back to toilet and piss loudly to give you a legitimate reason to be flushing toilet.
(alarm goes of) *beep beep beep*
(think to yourself) "hmmm....another piss fat. time for married sex"
refers to an individual who is exceedingly proficient in the art of performing "The Bat-Wing." (where ones scrotum is stretched out flat, to the brink of rupturing the scrotum and ejecting ones testicle, using two hands to replicate the image of a bat's wing.) Bradleys can work in teams either by presenting a series of "bat-wings" and performing choreographed routines; or by having multiple bradleys applying force to one bradleys scrotum to achieve what is known in the industry as a "Super Bat-Wing."
"That guy really pulled an accidental Bradley on himself yesterday when he didn't realise that his scrotum was caught in the rear sprocket of his motorcycle! It was stretched out that far I could read the label of the oil bottle on the other side through the skin!"