(adj) Having a shaft and meatus so thick, insertion into a vagina (or similar orifice) is akin to childbirth, but in reverse.
Last night at the bar, I met a guy named Tyresius. Drinks and conversation flowed. One thing led to another and before I could say clitoris, I was being ripped by Tyresius' reverse birth girth. Ooo-la-la. Ouch.
"...and I was like, 'Excuse me ma'am, but I was wondering if I could interest you in a round of turtle pokin'?' and she was like, 'you provide the turtle and I will provide the poker', and I was like, 'Yikes!! Anus, lets get out of here!!'."