A progmantic is someone who is a romantic at heart but has a realistic view of love and goes about finding it in a pragmantic way, aware that fairytale romances are not readily available these days.
I'm a modern-day Sleeping Beauty, I don't believe Prince Charming will bring me back to life with a kiss (unless he's a first-aid worker); and in my experience the prince turns into a toad when you kiss him rather than the other way around. My idea of being good in bed isn't lying in bed for a hundred years waiting for Prince Charming to ride up on a white horse but I'll be happy if he turns up tomorrow in a convertible with red roses, chocolate and gorgeous stilettoes to take me out to dinner!
I'm a progmantic.
A pitiful clumsy attempt at being composed and achieving closure after being dumped.
Alesha Dixon's song Breathe Slow should use the word CLOMPOSURE rather than closure to show the full extent of her needy desperation:
"Cos, ladies, take it in
And get cLomposure
Before I lose it
The first day of the week comes with pangs of guilt at not responding to your mother's incessant nagging phone calls over the weekend. You usually get back to her on Monday and say you're busy at work and can't really talk. It's Mumday.
My mom rang me on Friday, Saturday and Sunday to see what I was up to over the weekend and invite me over for dinner and I screened her calls. Now it's Mumday, I better get back to her, I guess I can do a home-cooked meal and small-talk now I'm not hungover.
To those who thought there couldn't be worse than that couple slobbering noisily all over each other centimetres from your own face at rush hour on the tube (Public Displays of Affection) - think again.
There's always Pathetic Displays of Affection. These usually occur when one or both parties is irretrievably inebriated. Sometimes followed by convenient memory loss the morning after the night before and/or heavy regret and shame felt by one or both parties.
Almost without fail intoxication-related, Pathetic Displays of Affection can be physical or virtual - in which case, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, they can take the various but inevitably excruciating forms of drunken dialling, texting or even, more permanently so, emailing and instant messaging.
Pedro, spare us all the PDA (Pathetic Displays of Affection) and the ensuing wingeing phone call to me about how mortified you are. There is no world in which it's a good idea to tell this Madeleine girl you just met at the bar that you want to marry her and impregnate her shortly afterwards. Even if she IS a hot blonde blue-eyed Swede.
a sexytary, or personal assistant in modern-day terminology, who performs his/her duties to the best of his/her sartorial abilities.
Meet Dara, my new secretarty.
She and Britney made it to the last sexytary round. It was a difficult decision, she types slower than I write, but she's got the pencil skirt, blouses and glasses down better than Britters.