"Why put off today what you can put off tomorrow?"
If you want something to get done, don't ask Bill to do it. He subscribes to the "procrastinator's motto".
An acquired or genetic mental condition resulting from either being a child conceived by at least one parent who was the recipient of a Florida education or in the case where there is no genetic link present from one of the parents, simply a child that was educated in Florida.
I don't know if John is so stupid because one or both of his parents were educated in Florida or if it's because he moved to Florida as a child and was educated there, but he is absolutely a classic Flo-rid-a-tard.
The moment during a drunken sexual encounter, where, depending upon your state of arousal, your member is either going to achieve full-staff or shrivel back to the size of a black hole singularity.
I tried to nail my wife last night, but was so shit-faced drunk I only made it to the erect horizon and then passed out.
Someone who only accesses the internet during periods of foul weather.
If it's nice outside, you won't find me surfing the net. I'm strictly an inclement webber.
The act of taking your piece of shit cell phone back to the store and shoving up the salesperson's ass.
I am so sick of this fucking cell phone. I have had it replaced at least ten times and each one of them has been worst than the last.
I'm going to use this one for a little cell-u-lar-sodomy.
The moment in time when you know you are just seconds from being kicked-out of your home or apartment and will be falling into the black hole of homelessness.
When I heard the loud knock at my door, I knew it was the Sheriff and that I was about to cross over the evict horizon.
A child conceived from having unprotected sex while on spring vacation in Florida.
Did you hear about Mary's Flo-rid-a-tot? Yeah, she got knocked-up during spring break in Daytona Beach.