43 definitions by pollup

When you trick a seemingly innocent girl into letting you have anal sex with her, and you return from the bathroom to find that she's gone and has taken a huge shit in the middle of your bed.

Sometimes, if she was super pissed about it, she takes the dump in your drawer and you don't find it for a few days.
Biff: "Hey Floyd - that stupid slut you hooked me up with last night. Yeah, uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she crapped in my bed."

Floyd: "Uh...what do you mean?"

Biff: "Are you retarded? I fucked Leona in the ass, and then when I went to wash my cock off she took a massive crap in my bed. Those sheets will never be the same. Corn and peas. NA-A-STY!

Floyd: "Corn AND peas? That is fucking rotten. I mean, if it was only corn I could see-"

Biff: "Shut up you asshole. Listen, you're not going to tell ANYONE about this. I'll beat your ass if you do. But seriously, that bitch got pretty hard revenge on me. My mama gave me those sheets and she always asks about them. How can I tell her that some skank took a huge, squirrelly dump in them because I analed her?"

Floyd: "Just tell her that a homeless guy broke into your-"

Biff: "Dude, you suck."
by Pollup November 24, 2007
When a terrorist is about to set off a suicide bomb in the middle of a Middle Eastern market and shits himself before he can set off the bomb. Generally, the poo flies all over the place and ruins all the food in the market.

Akmed: sup Mohammed? Wow, this market is really packed, eh? Check out Abdul with his big, fancy chicken stand over there. Oh, look at me; I'm Abdul and I think I'm so important with my magical chicken stand. I provide protein for people and think I'm the hottest shit in town.

Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?

Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.

Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.

Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -


Akmed: What happened?

Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!

Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?

Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.

Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.

Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.

Akmed: Let's go take a shower.

Mohammed: uh...
by Pollup January 31, 2008
A huge, disgusting, smelly, hairy, fat, half-ton lesbian. Wookie Dykes often make a loud, guttural sound when they are hungry for labia.

Frank: Why? (Frank turns around)What's going on?

Barry: Rickeeeeeeeeee - er, I mean FRAAAAAAAAAAAANK!

Frank: Barry. Give me that hash. Now. Hand it over. That's Rhonda, the wookie dyke. She's mostly harmless unless you get too close with food or another lesbian. Then you'd better watch out. She'll eat your arm.

Barry: Yeah, I noticed that huge scar on your...

Frank: Nevermind. Just stop being such a spaz and relax. And what was up with that "Rickeeeee" thing? That is seriously the last time I smoke hash with you. Jesus.
by Pollup January 07, 2008
A casual reference to someone that you don't hate, but think is a really huge loser. There is no reason for thinking he is a loser, he just is.

Generally, dink touchers are super nice guys with lots of friends. However, when you meet them, you just think: "man, this guy is a huge dink toucher."

When you are hanging around with dink touchers, you generally pretend to be friends with them. But when you get home, you complain to your wife/girlfriend about how much they suck and that you don't want to hang around with them any more. Then your wife/girlfriend gets mad at you and asks you to explain why that guy was a dink toucher. You don't have an explanation and lose the argument. Then you end up hanging around with the guy over and over again.
Last night I was hanging out with my wife's work friends. There was this one guy, Steve, and he was a super-huge dink toucher.

How so?

I don't know. He just was.
by Pollup November 24, 2007
To redefine the perceived meaning of wealth on earth and brainwash people into pursuing it.
European #1: I would really like some Ranch Dip. It would make me feel rich and classy.
European #2: But Franz, you are a German Lord. How would Ranch Dip make you feel -
European #1: Ein Qviet! I am NOT shplecking to you about zee ranch. It has a taste that makes me feel as though I am fighting Indians in Texas.
European #2: Das Boot! You have become...AMERICANIZED!
European #1: Indeed. For some reason my rich heritage has become meaningless to me and I only desire material wealth such as Blue Jeans and expensive cars.
European #2: Hmmmm. Do you want to move to California?
by Pollup March 02, 2008
A device that keeps some vaginas from making a whole bunch of noise when they're driving.
Man, put a cunt muffler on that bitch's snatch. It won't shut up.
by Pollup January 07, 2008
The semen that gets on your computer keyboard when you jerk off after Urban Dictionary Editors approve yet another fucking retarded definition that you made up.
Retard: Fuck, I just got UD nut slop all over my keyboard!

Retard 2: Dude, why did you just phone me and tell me t-?

Retard: Dad?

Retard 2: What? You thought I was YOUR DAD!? Man, that is some fucked up shit.

by pollup January 01, 2008

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