7 definitions by pelicanellie

Top Definition
BP
BP was a large multi-national oil driller and refiner whose future is uncertain as of June of 2010. Many theories abound as to why this foreign company was in a position to unleash such wholesale devastation of the American Gulf coast region. Nothing has been mentioned so far as to the notion of revenge.
In 1773, the Boston Tea Party (no connection to the Teabaggers, who have representation if they get off their fat asses and go vote) set the stage for the Revolutionary War. The colonists were pissed that they had to pay tax to the British Empire without any voting representation. Great Britain had been known forever for occupying, taxing, pilaging and plundering territories and soverign nations as it saw fit. Under those stiff British upper lips they were muttering one big "fuck you" to the rest of the world. Gradually over the centuries, the once powerful empire withered away until just about all they were left with was warm beer and Fergie.
Oh yeah, they're also pissed at us because we murdered John Lennon and that sealed the fate on any possible Beatles reunion.
Why does the stench of millions of barrels of crude oil that BP has dumped into the Gulf of Mexico smell like payback for the Boston Tea Party?
by pelicanellie June 09, 2010

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Upon approaching a parked car the passenger attempts to open a locked car door before the driver's click on the remote device has had time to unlock the door. The result is the jamming of the door lock mechanism and much more time required to remedy the situation. It doesn't matter how many times it has happened....it WILL keep happening again.
My boyfriend is so anxious to get his sorry ass into my car that he had three episodes of premature unlockelation yesterday
by pelicanellie November 01, 2010

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What a horny former Vice-President says to a licensed massage therapist at the culmination of a three hour massage that has not resulted in a happy ending. You might call it "An Inconvenient Boner". The results of said encounter include the dissolution of a 40 year marriage, a police investigation, worldwide coverage in the tabloid press, generally much more than one ejaculation seems worth. But I'm not a guy so maybe I don't understand.
A licensed massage therapist is not a prostitute. If you want to get laid call an "escort service", a high end call girl (like Eliot Spitzer did), or cruise the local bars. If I'm a 54 year old professional and "You know you want it", don't assume that I do.
by pelicanellie July 03, 2010

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When a person intentionally leaves one sheet of toilet paper on a roll, shifting the responsibility for putting a new roll on to the next hapless user. The next user may discover too late that the supply is insufficient and have to hop over to the closet with their pants around their ankles to get a new roll. In a frat house it is unlikely that there is another roll. This individual is the lowest of the low rollers.
Hey dude, can't you let people know that the TP is used up? I had to fish some dirty tissues out of the trash to wipe my ass with. Stop being a sheet shifter you asswipe.
by pelicanellie June 13, 2014

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When an individual obsessively tracks their online orders to the extent that as soon as the order is placed, they are looking for a tracking number. When they get the tracking number they follow their package every step of the way, sort of like they are a surrogate traveler on their package's journey. "Hey, we just got to Atlanta". The high or "payoff" is when the tracker gets an e-mail that the package has been delivered, opens the door, and there it is. Weather delays are serious bummers to premature trackulators.
Herb, I just placed the order 10 minutes ago and it's Sunday night. Stop with the premature trackulation. There is no way the package will be leaving the warehouse for at least a day or two.
by pelicanellie February 04, 2014

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A breed of bird (specifically the brown pelican) that was driven to the brink of extinction in the Gulf of Mexico, through loss of habitat and environmental (DDT) pollution. Through the efforts of many to restore their breeding grounds, the brown pelican was removed from the endangered list in 2009.

Then came BP and its attempt to get the record in the Guiness Book for the most animals driven into extinction by one event. It's looking like they will get the record and hopefully no one will want to break it.
Tony Hayward is a greedy scum sucking dirtbag who should lick the oil off of the pelicans that he condemned to a slow painful death.
by pelicanellie June 13, 2010

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When someday is super annoying and super immature. Sort of like the "Peter Pan " kid in the Geico TV commercial. Obnoxious and retarded at the same time.
You know Joe, you're 16 years old and still doing armpit farts at parties? Stop being such a pubertard.
by pelicanellie April 13, 2016

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