66 definitions by pantaloon

Top Definition
The female equivalent to a male hard on. The woman's vagina swells up until it resembles a tazered, twitching piece of liver, and the man can enjoy a snug, responsive ride, much like a European Sports car that looks like the organ of a cow.
In due time, she had achieved a wide on. Fortunately Bert was finished before his ass cheeks collapsed.
by Pantaloon January 09, 2008
1)Brilliant leader of non-violent Indian insurgency against British colonial rule during the first half of 20th century in. Philosophy of civil disobedience not only won independence for India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh, but influenced Civil Rights movement in US through slain leader Martin Luther King Jr.
2)To shit one's pants or man-diaper with no visible sign of discomfort.
1)Gandhi inspired many millions of people to risk their lives to rid themselves of the shackles of the British Empire. He would often sit at his loom in a diaper. This was awe inspiring.
2)Uncle Joe would watch the Sunday games in his old Barcalounger with the food tray in front of him. Nary a facial muscle would twitch when he gandhied during the half-time show. The stench was unbelievable.
by Pantaloon January 22, 2008
Originally found in Sumerian Tax Logs to define overdue fees (Late on Lamp Oil, some experts believe), this phrase has evolved through time. Shakespeare shunned the abbreviation, finding it impossible to rhyme with. Thoreau punched Jim Bowie in a local tavern for carving it on the table with his special knife, but Lincoln ad-libbed it in the original Gettysburg address during an uncomfortable moment in the Monologue. It meant "Laughing On Line" during the internet craze of the late 20th century, but now has been reduced to a response to the dull person you are texting to out of politeness rather than the one you are actually engaged in a conversation with, if you can call it that.
Sumerian Tax Log: Entry-2 dribs of Lamp Oil, payment 2days past due- LOL (usually required lopping off of something).
Shakespeare's feeble attempt; Mehears the lady LOL, mehopes not at mine nether hole.
Lincoln:Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.(uncomfortable shifting in crowd of living-dead did not shift hopefully)LOL, I meant equal as in, ya know, separate but equal, ya know, LOL, wait till you see my new bathroom signs. (Crowd relaxes) Ok, did I mention there's a new dee-luxe horse and buggy in the lot for y'all who came out today?(big whoop from crowd).
Justin text:RU still there?
by Pantaloon January 03, 2008
means of solving all criminal cases, no other police work is required.
1)Grissom solved the case and asked Caruso to guess how he did it. "Not DNA again!" He bellowed.
by Pantaloon January 07, 2008
Verb found in alien cookbook to serve man- cause of rising stock prices, sedation and weight gain of local population in US and China, and utter destruction of all critical thinking.
1)Wal-Mart for twenty years or until meat is about to fall off the bone.
2)We were going to repair the washing machine but figured why not Wal-Mart it.
by Pantaloon January 03, 2008
Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE
Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.
by Pantaloon January 03, 2008
What the drive-thru cashier must smoke in order to suggest super-sizing your meal 5000 times a shift,25000 times a week, millions of times a year,billions and billions served.
"Welcome to Mcdonald's. Can I take your order? **snort**"
My mother-in-law and I gave each other a knowing look. The loudspeaker snort was a dead give-away for Mcfatty inhalation. We bummed a couple of tokes in order to keep quiet, and then headed to the motel with our post-coital snack.
by pantaloon January 24, 2008

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