5 definitions by oilrag

Panda Parade

A large presence of law enforcement vehicles. A Panda Parade is often observed on the news when a feckless individual decides that he can evade the police after commission of a crime. This event was popularized by OJ Simpson in 1995 with a slow-speed chase and has subsequently been imitated by many unimaginative and/or inept law breakers.

I switched channels to a rerun of Leave It to Beaver because every major channel on TV was airing the latest Panda Parade.

by oilrag September 29, 2009

Antiphospholipid antibody syndrome

A disease that is rare enough that only those who have it know how to write it or pronounce it. Try telling your doctor that you have it. Your doctor will either leave the room to look it up on his computer or will fake that he knows what it is and schedule you for a blood test.

Cop: "Why were you speeding, weaving, texting, applying mascara and eating while driving?"

Offender: "Was I really doing those things? I'm sorry. Antiphospholipid antibody syndrome made me do it"

Cop: "Please step out of the car, maam. and keep your hands in plain view."

Offender: " I'm sorry, officer, my Antiphospholipid antibody syndrome makes it hard for me to stand up. You can call my Doctor..."

by oilrag September 29, 2009

Transverse myelitis

1) A rare neurological condition that can cause permanent damage to parts of the body below the affected spinal nerve area.

2) A condition in which ones nerve is worn very thin by reading poetry in Pig-Latin.

I just couldn't shake me short tempered mood after reading the unabridged works of the obscure Pig-Latin poet Paresthesia. This is when I first noticed that I was experiencing Transverse myelitis.

by oilrag September 30, 2009

esoteric

When something becomes too intellectual to be fun anymore

The process of creating this post became so esoteric that I nearly gave up on it.

by oilrag September 29, 2009

copulation

an excessive amount of police presence in a given area.

1) I was late for work because of copulation on the freeway. 2) My drunk driving resulted in copulation and arrest.

by oilrag September 29, 2009