79 definitions by od smith
The least charming aspect from those charmless fuckers at New Deal.
Whenever you get an increase in your benefits, be it when you're placed on a six month course or turn 25, you will receive one of these in the mail. It states that you didn't apply for one of the shitty jobs they gave you without your consent three months ago (every time), and that if you do not explain why, you will have that hard earned £20 extra taken from you.
Basically, they hope you get so pissed off you write "Fuck you" on the slip, at which point they'll cancel your claim.
Whenever you get an increase in your benefits, be it when you're placed on a six month course or turn 25, you will receive one of these in the mail. It states that you didn't apply for one of the shitty jobs they gave you without your consent three months ago (every time), and that if you do not explain why, you will have that hard earned £20 extra taken from you.
Basically, they hope you get so pissed off you write "Fuck you" on the slip, at which point they'll cancel your claim.
"Why did you not apply for a job that is three hours travel for you with a wage that does not cover travel expenses? We want our money back, just because we're a bunch of wankers who can't do our jobs properly, so should be in your place."
by od smith April 15, 2005
An attempt to make Croydon sound vaguely cool by using a bastardisation of the postcode for central Croydon (CR0), which just sounds exceptionally contrived and, frankly, stupid. Especially as the pub with the same name has been closed since mid 2003, having run out of potential new owners.
It does confuse people making online bookings, though, since they hab itually use an "O" rather than a "0" when filling out the form, and it won't go through.
Usually put about by the writers for local fanzine Wired, which is as depressinmg and unjournalistic as you can imagine.
It does confuse people making online bookings, though, since they hab itually use an "O" rather than a "0" when filling out the form, and it won't go through.
Usually put about by the writers for local fanzine Wired, which is as depressinmg and unjournalistic as you can imagine.
"Well, if Compton is CPT, I guess we'll be CRO."
"Dosn't that sound contrived and wanky?"
"No - it sounds cool and well 'ard..."
"Dosn't that sound contrived and wanky?"
"No - it sounds cool and well 'ard..."
by od smith May 20, 2005
AKA Kano Shimai.
Japan's answer to the Hilton Sisters, although neither of them are as irritating and overexposed as Paris, and they've been around for a few years.
Multitasking between acting, singing, modelling and generally turning up everywhere, Mika and Kyoko are at the pinnacle of Japan's star system.
Japan's answer to the Hilton Sisters, although neither of them are as irritating and overexposed as Paris, and they've been around for a few years.
Multitasking between acting, singing, modelling and generally turning up everywhere, Mika and Kyoko are at the pinnacle of Japan's star system.
by od smith May 13, 2005
Marilyn Manson inspired the Columbine kids to shoot up their High School.
Marilyn Manson influenced Luke Mitchell to kill Jodi Jones.
Marilyn Manson influenced Luke Mitchell to kill Jodi Jones.
by od smith February 16, 2005
So you survived you advisor treating you like an ignorant skiver, lived through Gateway to Work - hey, you even gutted out being jammed in CETS for a large chunk of the year, but don't think that's the last thing New Deal have to throw at you like a brick. No, then they stick you in SEETEC for 13 weeks, where you are stuck doing all the same exercises you did on Gateway and at CETS once more for two out of the three hours you're supposed to be there, therefore meaning you can't actually apply for a job to get the hell out of there. They don't even increase your benefits for your duration this time.
Wait, I got through all the shit off my advisor, Gateway to Work AND six months at CETS, and you're sticking me in SEETEC where all that crap I already "learned" TWICE is regurgitated once more, despite being pointless and meaningless at this point?!?
by od smith September 14, 2005
The latest in a long line of using a date to signify a terrorist attack, making the journalists job easier as they have shorthand...but misses the point entirely.
The reason? How can two dozen men being arrested on suspicion of looking Arabic be at all related to 3000 people being killed on 9/11? There was no attack, so therefore the term is meaningless, journalistic slang that led to paranoid airport security.
The fact that, a month on, those not released quietly are being held on not giving evidence of a terror attack is quite fishy, don't you think?
The reason? How can two dozen men being arrested on suspicion of looking Arabic be at all related to 3000 people being killed on 9/11? There was no attack, so therefore the term is meaningless, journalistic slang that led to paranoid airport security.
The fact that, a month on, those not released quietly are being held on not giving evidence of a terror attack is quite fishy, don't you think?
Journo 1: "The police are trying to appear important by randomly arresting two dozen people without evidence, and can't get their story straight!"
Journo 2: "Quick, in order to make it easier and scare the readers into buying our paper for the way forward, give it a date. What's today's date?"
Journo 1: "10th August, 2006."
Journo 2: "10/8 it is, then!"
Journo 2: "Quick, in order to make it easier and scare the readers into buying our paper for the way forward, give it a date. What's today's date?"
Journo 1: "10th August, 2006."
Journo 2: "10/8 it is, then!"
by od smith September 16, 2006
Another charming aspect of being on New Deal. After a certain amount of time on one of their ridiculous excuses for a training course, they decide to send out "students" on Wok Placement - ignoring the question of how, exactly, can you find paid work when you're stuck in a fucking office all day and not being paid for a second of it.
Essentially, it proves slavery is alive and well in the First World, as well as helping corrupt capitalists make a shitload of money at your expense? How? Put it this way - would Tesco want to hire ten people to stack their shelves for a salary every year, or a steady stream of unpaid labour from delivered from CETS every month to do the same? You work it out.
Essentially, it proves slavery is alive and well in the First World, as well as helping corrupt capitalists make a shitload of money at your expense? How? Put it this way - would Tesco want to hire ten people to stack their shelves for a salary every year, or a steady stream of unpaid labour from delivered from CETS every month to do the same? You work it out.
"I'm afraid you have to go on Work Placement in a place totally unsuited to you just so we don't have to help you find a job, which we're set up for, and help companies get fatter and fatter profits each and every year - which they pay us for."
by od smith April 14, 2005