The vagina of a girl who is too ugly to engage in sexual intercourse with a very drunk man. Refers to the likelihood that her cavernous cooter is inhabited solely by venomous arachnids, and that forces beyond her control will prevent her from ever being penetrated by men and most vibrators.
Guy 1: "I can't believe that ol' Spiders was really into you."
Guy 2: "Yeah, I told her that, even if she weren't uglier than shit on toast, my responsibilities to the Klingon Chess Club would prevent me from ever penetrating her."
Guy1: "Hahaha, pwn'd!"