1. A collegiate organization for women who either subscribe
to the ideals of fascism - specifically the belief that ordered communities
should be structured along arbitrary social lines of division
which should then be distinguished from one another by the letters of an extinct
alphabet and further reinforced by secret ceremonies and pledges of allegiance
to their clan
- or for women who just want
to get drunk and screw around a lot.
2. A community of college age women who are united in their
passionate thirst to shop, especially when it comes to buying
Although the above definitions do not apply to any sorority in particular, I believe they
nonetheless characterize the spirit of most sororities currently active in United States academia.