In the beginning we were all fish, swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different so it got to live. So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands, and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something, and made retard frog-squirrel. And then that had a retard baby which was a monkey-fish-frog, and then this monkey-fish-frog had butt sex with another monkey, and then that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey, and then that screwed another monkey and then that made you. So there you go, you're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel, congratulations.
evolution explains how we evolved