Volkswagens are arguably the most unreliable vehicles on the road to date. Initially engineered by a political regime predicated upon the hatred of Jewish people, these vehicles pose a threat to motorists all over the world. There is much confusion over the origins of the word “toxic asset”, but most people have now come to accept that it was coined by Volkswagen mechanics. If you ever do experience engine failure, there is usually no need to call emergency services as the plume of black smoke emanating from the engine bay is usually enough to alert the authorities. Some of the other pleasantries one can experience with Volkswagen ownership are extensive understanding of engine related diagnostics procedures and a heightened sense of a mechanical aptitude. Most Volkswagen owners can usually pass the Automotive Service Excellence exam in under 15 minutes on their first try. Even more disappointing than Volkswagen’s reliability, the interior of these cars is more frail than an osteoporosis patient – it is akin to entirely furnishing your house with IKEA furniture. Most owners have reported that once they purchased the car from an accredited Volkswagen dealer, the dealership disappeared over night. The causes for this behavior are well documented; most dealerships do not want to explain to customers why the car burst into flames, the radio does not work, the transmission slips, the airbags never deployed or why Volkswagen is number 1 in the auto industry for recalls.
Honda Owner: "Wow, I only spent $30 to get my sparkplugs replaced!"
Volkswagen Owner: "Good for you. I had to take a second mortgage on my house to repair that VW fag-backet in my drive way".