5 definitions by morningwould
| 1. | Febrizzle | ||
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A light rain in February. Often a bone chilling drizzle. Tom: "What's up with this crazy weather"?
Dick: "I'm chilled to the bone in this damn Febrizzle". Mary: "I need to get home, take off my clothes and get in a hot tub". Tom: "I'm up for that". Dick: "Me too". |
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| 2. | Jesus | ||
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He wasn't as famous as the Beatles.
He could walk on water, which could explain why He was a fisherman. He was also a carpenter, but came to have a dislike for nails. His mom was knocked up by God. He made the cross popular, which is good because you need one to chase off vampires. Last name is Christ. Santa Claus invented a holiday about him, so that he could sell trees and sneak into peoples houses. Tom: "Oh shit"!
Dick: "What the Fu....." Harry: "Jesus Christ"! Jesus: "Hey mister! Can I mow your lawn"? |
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| 3. | god | ||
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A god is a supreme being who will give you good stuff if you honor them. They will screw you if you dis them.
A god is not to be confused with God. God is one dude. A god is any of a number of dudes. All gods put together, do the same work as God. The water god, the fire god, the fertility god, the pizza god. There are also godesses. The fertility goddess and fertility god are joined together at the crotch. If you pray to God, you go to heaven. If you pray to a god, you get what they specialize in. Pray to the pizza god, and you get a tasty pizza. Pray to the fire god, and he gives you some wood to rub together, or a lighter. Tom: "I wish we had a baby."
Lucy: "Me too. I guess I should pray to the fertility god." Tom: "While you're at it, pray to the fertility godess too." Lucy: "pray, pray, pray. pray. O great god and godess of the giant womb in the sky, please get me knocked up." Later-- Tom: "Holy shit Lucy! I'm getting a big boner." Lucy: "O my fucking god. I'm getting horny and wet in my vagina." Tom: "What the hell is going on? What do I do with this boner?" Lucy: "O Tom, place your giant penis inside me, and we shall make a baby." hump, hump, hump. Later- Tom: "I think I'l pray to the cigarette god for a pack of Camel Lights." Lucy: "and I'll pray to the god of fire for a lighter." Tom: "I'll pray to the pizza god for a family size anchovie and jalapeno double cheese hand tossed pizza." God: "Thou shalt have no gods before Me! To Hell with you!" Tom and Lucy: "O God Damn!" POOF! |
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| 4. | James Holmes | ||
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The wackjob, nutcase, psycho, dude, who will burn in Hell for killing 12 and injuring many more, when he shot up the Century theater in Aurora, CO. on July 20, 2012 . James: "Don't you love my orange hair"?
Guard: "Burn in Hell, James Holmes"! |
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| 5. | Healthy Gas | ||
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January 10, 2013 Urban Word of the Day
The gas (fart) produced from a person who has eaten healthy foods like cabbage, beans, broccolli, grains, or other high fiber, high carbohydrate foods. Bart: "Eeeeewwww! What's that smell"?
Homer: "That's just me, emitting healthy gas". Bart: "Healthy my ass! All you eat is donuts and beer". Homer: "Don't forget the four burritos Bart. And that egg sandwich on whole grain bread". Bart: "I'm impressed Homer. Impressed how stinky your farts are". Lisa: "Mom! Don't light the stove yet! Homers been eating healthy again, and has healthy gas"! |
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