Egotistical metal musician who secretly loves maroon 5 music. They sleep 16-18 hours per day and wake only to eat hot dogs with barbecue sauce. Spends the rest of the day watching the history channel and trutv while drinking vodka and cheap beer (preferably boxer beer). They can play guitar hero for hours on end. Aspires to work at Menards for the rest of their life. Prefers women who had tails at birth. Big tits a must. Cleveland steamers also happily expected. During Lent expects four fish sandwiches from McDonalds daily. Perfect woman must have at some time worked on CNN. Has strict curfew when at the bars of midnight. Will reminisce about that one catch in high school football for hours. Worst flag football quarterback ever. 17 tds, 84 interceptions. Ran out of bounds backwards. Perfect date involves avoiding dragon food, skoal, seeing a Steven Seagal classic, and jerking off to Ac/dc.
Jeff: Bro where were you all day?
Todd: Well i woke up, ate some hot dogs, went to holiday, and just got back from the goo goo dolls concert. Pretty full day.