(don't be offended)
when your mom passes my tv
I was watching tv yesterday and an eclipse happened right in front of me
An alternative to smoking... very addictive and pricey.
Kid: I need $3.99 for a pack of pokemon cards.
Mom: I thought I got you to quit.
Kid: That's what you said about Dad's smoking!
Waking up to find your dick/pussy is being feasted on
Last night, I gave my girl a "breakfast in bed"
When you happen to pass by an unguarded or unattended item of value in your daily routine and swipe it before anyone notices it. Usually sold afterward.
me: Wanna buy an iPod?
guy: Where'd you get it at?
me: Just came up on it!
anyone who has basically fucked with every kind of drug
guy 1: Arthur has smoked weed, crack, meth, and even sniffed coke.
guy 2: what a drug slut
Anyone who is part of a gang and goes to school, but never puts in work or hits up anyone. Uses the fact that he's in a gang to intimidate others, but inside, he's a little pussy.
Guy 1: What the fuck you lookin at?
Guy 2: Man what foo, you think you harder than me?
Guy 1: You won't do shit. You just a weekend gangsta!
A response to something that is impossible to do or acquire. Can be followed by a thorough explanation to add to the sarcasm. Does not have to do anything with the conversation.
guy 1: If eat a seven pound steak in seven minutes, then the meal will be free!
guy 2: Yeah, and if pokemon were real...