A depressed little city, constantly being financially hit because of it's dependency on a resource based economy. Many inhabitants (especially political figures, both past and present) have their heads buried so far up their asses, it's a wonder that any daylight ever reaches their eyes. A nice place to visit, but be damned glad if you can leave. This city is infested with lazy welfare sucking river chimps (see definition in Urban Dictionary)
I lived in Port Alberni once, but got the fuck out as soon as I realized it was going nowhere, and that the river chimp population was increasing at too great a rate.