"Hey, Dave, how'd you get on with that bint
"Oh christ, Wilko, I wished I hadn't even set foot in that club!"
"Why mate? Something bad happen?"
"Yeah, there I was feeling around her underwear in the dark, and I felt my fingers being burnt by acid, and her flesh gave way to bone, then she was sick on me. And to top it all off, my arm's been burnt off at the elbow!"
"Oh jesus, Dave! Looks like you were feeding a dead cat last night!"
"Yer right, Wilko, I'll have to get rid of the body now..."