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13 definitions by m leonidas

 
1.
The act of forcefully inserting one's penis in and out of a facial orifice of the human skull--hence, "skullfuck".

The most socially acceptable orifice to penetrate is the mouth, as this is already a widely accepted way of engaging in sexual activity; however, the eye sockets, nostrils and even ear canals can be engaged, depending on the partner's willingness to get a cock rammed into any one of the aforementioned orifices. What separates a typical blowjob from the skullfuck is the force and velocity required to achieve skullfuck status. For this, a popular scale has been invented by Aww Smeh M, measured in "skullfucks" (sFk).

A female performing oral sex on a male at a moderate intensity would create about 0.00001567 sFk, whereas for a typical blowjob to be considered a skullfuck, one would need to generate at least 0.005 sFk of force, which only the hips are capable of doing.

The most intense skullfuck ever recorded was performed by Chuck Norris, who skullfucked his victim so hard it generated 49 sFk and therefore vaporized his victim's skull. The resulting orgasm from the aforementioned Chuck Norris skullfuck is typically referred to as an "avalanche" by us mere mortals.

Skullfucking usually results in the female gagging, so sufficient practice and cock-sucking experience does tend to help new practitioners to the noble art of, as the French would say, le skullfuck.
Pete: I skullfucked Rossi so hard last night I fractured his nose and his jaw is now rendered incapable of performing its duties.

Aww Smeh M: Did you skullfuck any rigs last night?
Pvt. Paul Jack Shitcunt Sparta Barta: Oi mate, her face looked like a Jackson Pollock painting after I was through with that hoe.
by M Leonidas August 30, 2010
 
2.
Contrary to belief, Ancient History is considered by many to be the greatest history to study. Its opposing history, Modern History, is apparently favoured by God--this is amusing as prehistoric people invented the belief of God.
Also, many supporters of Modern History have extremely small penises, as indicated by their historical figures. Take Hitler for example: Hitler was a fat minga who didn't even participate in World War II. All he was was a racist son of a bitch, standing behind a podium and ordering people around. Oh, and let's not forget that he fucked his niece and had a urine fetish.
Modern Historians usually try to discredit Ancient History by claiming that figures in ancient history were homosexual, such as the Spartans. Firstly, this is wrong. The Spartans had sex with both males and female s(How else would they have procreated?), so the correct term is 'bisexual': see, this is an example of the lack of research, arrogance and stupidity of modern historians. Secondly, homosexuality shouldn't be viewed as a bad thing. So what if someone is gay? That is their decision.
On the other hand, the people of ancient history were incredibly fit and healthy, unlike modern people. Let's take a look at Big Kev. Where is he now? Under the fucking dirt, that's where. The fat cunt died of obesity. A Spartan would have died on the battlefield, not from diabetes or high cholestrol, but from 21 million spears to the heart.
Modern historians also say that the study of modern history is the study of how the world was shaped. This is true to some extent, but how else did we get to being "modern"? Over time. This justifies the fact that modern history will one day become ancient, but ancient history will NEVER become modern.
Modern historians also say "Let's put modern weapons against ancient weapons and see who wins?" This is stupid. Clearly modern will win as they have weapons of mass destruction. However, the skill required to fight modern battles opposed to ancient battles is miniscule.
How do you fire a rocket? Pressing a button. How do you fire a gun? Pulling a trigger.
How do you thrust with a spear, or a sword, while at the same time defending yourself with a 20kg shield against an opposing team's arrows, swords and spears? You need skill, accuracy, bravery, courage, hours and hours of gruelling physical fitness.
How do you control an animal of you're on horseback? Skill and dedication to the animal. How do you control a car? You get in, put your foot down and turn the wheel.
The above factors indicate the extremities of aspects of modern and ancient warfare. They also indicate that ancient history kills modern any time of the day or night.
Now let's look at some modern reppers: Ewna lady (probably THE biggest minga out), Mrs. Davis, Moz (the only cool teacher you have repping your gay history), and countless others who are too insignificant to mention cause they FUCKING SUCK!
Now let's look at ancient reppers: Walker (legend), Spiv (legend) Bob (legend of all the legends that were ever legends), Ando (hectic legend), Pickering (legend) and pretty much every cool kid at Bally, and across the globe.
Modern history is fucking boring to study. Why? Because it's so fucking political. Who wants to sit in a room and study about how this fucking president said that to this fucking president, then they were too pussy to go fight each other, so they ordered millions of other men to fight for them, killing innocent people along the way?
Ancient history kings were there, in the FUCKING front line, coppping shit left, right and centre, risking their life to fight for a cause: love of their country. Not power. Not corporate sellout. Not money.
ALL THE THINGS WRONG WITH THE WORLD TODAY STEM FROM MODERN. AIDS came from a dude fucking a monkey not too long ago.

So, if choosing which history is better, Ancient History is the way to go. Don't succumb to modern bullshit, which forces you to learn about boring political scandals and the killing of millions of innocents for money or power.

ANCIENT FOR THE FUCKING WIN!
Hey, look at that dude. He definitely does Ancient History.
Oh shot Clint, you hectic Spartan.
Oh shot Paul, you hectic Spartan.
Oh shot Spiv, you hectic Spartan.
Oh shot Walker, you hectic Spartan.
by M Leonidas August 23, 2008
 
3.
The Bally-Slang term in mockery of "small ass". Often used sarcastically and in deep irony to actually label one possessing the opposite--one with a voluptuous flank.
However, it should be noted that most Smoh Ah's can be quite good-looking. Years of scientific research by Professor Joshua Risbey, M.D, PhD has uncovered that the favoured habitat of the Smoh Ah population is Balgowlah Boys' Campus on the Northern Beaches of Sydney, Australia. Risbey quotes: "...probably because of the deep-seeded legendary qualities of the Bally boys are Smoh Ah's attracted to their habitat... I also have reason to believe that my thermae is a cause of attraction, as I caught one lurking around it just the other day."
The Queen of Smoh Ah goes by the name of Alison McMillan, and she can often be found wondering the halls of G Block.

Smoh Ah can also be used as a derogatory term, and can be given to unanimous objects, such as cars that appear stocky. The user can be imaginative, as there is little restriction in regards to using the term.
Oh SMOH AH!

Oi Spiv, you going out for a break are you? Yeah, sure, you're either going out golfing, skiing, pumping Smoh Ah or all of the above! Ay!

That bus has a Smoh Ah!

(To a rank chick): Oh SMOH AH!
by M Leonidas October 27, 2008
 
4.
A thermae was an ancient bathing house/brothel. Many of these have been excavated in the ruins of the ancient cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum. Basically, they consisted of three rooms: a cold room, a temperate room and a hot room. There was also a room to get changed in, and separate sections to engage in brothel-like activities (Note: in those days, prostitution was viewed as perfectly normal).

These days, the use of the word 'thermae' has been popularized and brought into mainstream pop culture and has also become a staple in Bally-Slang terms. Joshua Risbey, M.D, PhD (who you may remember as the researcher who discovered the Smoh Ah creature) was a major pioneer in the usage of the word, as was Mr. Ian 'Spiv' James. Dr. Risbey's fascinatation with the term was sparked by many a glorious Ancient History lessons at Bally, and Risbey would often ask random questions in regards to the goings-on of the thermae, such as "How many hookers could you have brought into the thermae with you?" and "Spiv, I bet you would have demolished the thermae with your gargantuan cock if you were around back in the day" just to name a few.

So, "thermae" became Dr. Risbey's nickname from then on, and to this day, he continually uses the term in conversation.

Variations include: Thermae-out, thermballz, therm-chamber.
Oi legend, I'm so keen for a thermae!

Thermae sesh at my house in a few weeks, and we'll attract some Smoh Ah to come.
by M Leonidas July 17, 2009
 
5.
The popular 'Caring Face' expression is used when one wants to insult another by illustrating their apathy towards another's problems.

Usually when one performs the expression a finger is raised, pointing towards their face, which is arranged into a completely emotionless state.

However, for entertainment purposes, to make the other person feel worse or just simply to further heighten the effects, one's face can be arranged like a 6-year-old Down Syndrome boy's face when he spots candy on a shelf (this technique was popularized by Paul 'Oh Puh Kick' Barta in the days of Bally).

However, one should be aware that the 'Caring Face' expression should only be performed towards head-doers, and should not be performed amongst friends.

The act alone can also be accompanied by saying "Caring Face", "Care But" in a long, drawn-out fashion, or simply asking the person "Do you want to see my caring face?"
Greg Downey: I got fired from Domino's the other day.
Marko: Caring face!

EP: Ziggy isn't keen for my loose flaps anymore, and my titty implants got dislodged. They travelled down to my pelvis so now I look like a fucking martian.
Paul: Caaaaaaaaaaare Buuuuuut!

Spiv: Ehhh, dodgy boys, dodgy. I showed my Caring Face to Smoh Ah when she said she couldn't handle my dodgy wang anymore, ehhhhh!

Dan Woodhouse: Boys I can't shout Maccas tonight, I've got no money.
Paul/Marko: Do you want to see my caring face?
by M Leonidas November 22, 2009
 
6.
Pii
An infamous slang term originating from the many a corridors in the wild, wacky and prosperous grounds of Balgowlah Boys' Campus.

The term 'pii' is a play on words of the English term 'pretty', however, by saying 'pii' instead of 'pretty', one projects the idea that they have laced the word with deep sarcasm.

Often used whilst dissing someone's scrap (a.k.a bagging someone out, paying someone out etc etc, for those of you playing at home), 'pii' has its roots in the tongues of Bally students as far as 5 years back. Usage of the word is universal; however, for maximum scrap-dissage effects, one would combine this word with other Bally Slang terms (see examples below).

Most often used in Bally to pay out hectic oge teachers, in particularly Ewna Lady and Conolly.
Guy 1: Aww pii good teacher!
Guy 2: Pii did my homework... guy.

Conolly: Boys, that's a mulberry tree!
Class: AWWW CHIPS, IS MULBERRY TREE! PII GOOD!

Spiv: DODGY BOYS, EHHHHH! WHERE'S SMOH AH, SHE HAS MY GOLF BALLS. EHHHH!
by M Leonidas October 03, 2009
 
7.
To whip out your crank and let loose a tidal wave of froth.

To ejaculate at a high velocity.

The process whereby semen is propelled from one's cock, especially over something that is froth-worthy.

For public pleasure, one may tuck his penis into his waistband, providing stimulation as they walk, eventually resulting in a load being blown into their belly-button.
Oi I was terrorizing this chick's gaping asshole last night and I filled her asshole with cum.

Check out that hectic rig over there, makes me wanna whip my crank out and blow a load all over her.

Paul: Seriously, if Chen invited me to the formal I would blow my load so hard his skin would simply flake off his bones!

Spiv: Ehhhhhhh boys, dodgy, dodgy, I just busted a nut on Smoh Ah, Ehhhh. Dodgy!

Peter: Fuck, the other night Rossi blew a load in my eye and I still can't see straight.

Guy 1: Is Frank coming out tonight?
Guy 2: Nah, he's too busy blowing a load all over his slurry.
by M Leonidas November 17, 2009