2 definitions by lumberjim

Top Definition
Coigned by Bubba the Love Sponge: When two males that cannot settle an argument or dispute in any other civilized fashion resort to measuring their genitals to determine a winner. The standard form is to lay your junk on a table about yea high while your opponent does the same from the opposite side. The match is immediately forfeit if you attempt to touch your opponent while he is in this position.
Bubba and Ronny had an dispute that they couldn't settle. Bubba challenged Ronny to a cock off. When they measured their cocks, it was determined tht Bubba's cock was longer....He was then named the winner of the cock off and the argument. ...and there was much rejoicing
by lumberjim December 04, 2007

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A medical procedure that cuts the nerve cord that runs from the optic nerve to the rectum. This is intended to eliminate one's shitty outlook on life.
A pessimist can be said to have need of an optirectomy.
by lumberjim October 08, 2008

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