1) n. A secret task or condition you place on a person who you've just started dating to evaluate whether or not that person is relationship material.
2) n. A detrimental, often self-destructive lie of great significance told to expose the true character of one's partner. This is often done (ironically) in efforts to overcome one's own fear of commitment or to sabotage the relationship. (See mind fuck.)
3) n. The date during which one introduces one's partner to one's family for purposes of evaluating the long term viability of the relationship.
When Matt goes on a first date with a chick, he opens her car door first and then walks around back. If she doesn't reach over and unlock his door, she fails the relationship test 'cause she's probably a selfishcunt.
Whenever Claire needs to figure out if she wants to continue seeing some guy, she breaks out the, "I'm biologically male" relationship test. Then she sits back and watches the sparks fly.
1) n. An individual who acquires and uses another's account for commercial porn sites without ever contributing money or returning the favor.
2) n. An individual who refuses to pay for porn, but rather subsists on the seemingly infinite supply of lo-res pictures and truncated, money shot-less clips meant to induce subscriptions. Without use of a proper browser, this usually leads to a porn storm. The search of good porn using this method can often result in succumbing to a porn vortex.
Matt is such a porn mooch! I gave him my goatslikeitrough.com login like three months ago, and he changed my password!
Every time you pass by Eric's computer, there's a porn storm. He's such a porn mooch! Why doesn't he just pay for the stuff?
n. A status bestowed from one individual upon another exemplifying satisfaction anticipated from maintaining a relationship with that individual. This evaluation is highly subjective and typically reflects a great deal of personal preference. However, this term is usually used in situations where the relationship is not exclusively sexual (i.e., it is not used to describe a fuck buddy).
Claire: Matt is hott, but I can't stand talking to him; he is so stupid!