An established code, a womans law that 'every girl should follow'? Bits and pieces have been nabbed from dotted groups and edited to establish an official code, but the majority have been thought up by moi after attending an all girls school for 5 years. 5 years is a VERY long time. Filled with bitchiness and an inability to look passed image, as well as including the perks and positives this is..... THE GIRL CODE
*note this is created to take with a large dose of sarcasm and irony :)
Let's follow the spice girls lead and bring back GIRL POWER!
Any rulebreak is punishable by bitching from fellow females and general looking down upon... (note rules are not in order of importance, bar rule #1)
1# Rule no 1 and the MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL.. No girl may date her friend's; exs, past crushes, guys who have humiliated/used her and guys she currently fancies... Do this at your own risk biatch!! Acceptions to rule: a) Your friend has given you permission/ couldn't care less b) The said fancying/going out happened before the age of puberty
2# It is perfectly acceptable to take an automatic dislike to a girl/ judge them without ever speaking to them
3# Chocolate is an accepted food in any occasion
4# A girl has a right to lie in order to keep a secret told to her by her best friend.
5# When complimented by a friend it is your duty to find something to compliment her back on… whether this be straight afterwards or stored for later on in the day
6# It is your womanly right to give dirty looks
7# Being friends with your friends arch enemy/people your friend hates is a shady area… if you are to do this you must keep the said arch enemies/hated people friendship with you on the d- low
8# If your friends new boyfriend is hideous or lacking in the looks department when asked your opinion of him it is accepetable to describe him as 'cute'
9# Women ARE ALWAYS RIGHT until PROVEN wrong!
10# We have to go through childbirth/periods/waxing so are the downtrodden sex and this can be used in any disagreement/argument with a member of the male species.. let them feel our PAIN
11# A chick flick wins over an action/lad move every time
12# A guy who claims to love chick flicks must be looked at in suspicion.. either he's after something or theres something he's not telling you (*cough).. make him sit through 'crossroads' and if he survives that then he may be counted as genuine but trust him at your own peril!
13# Two friends should not hook up with the same guy in the same night HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT LADIES!
14# Never may a thong/ G-string be worn with a short skirt.. There are things your companions do not need to see!
15# Sleeping with more than five men in a lifetime does not make you a whore, however sleeping with five men in a week does.
16# All single girls are allowed to hate Valentines Day and bitch about it to their other single girlfriends
17# Females are always obligated to notice and comment on any change of hair cut or color, new clothes, jewlerry etc
18# If a girl is throwing up it is your duty to hold hair back.. even if she is not an aquaintance (friends are often made through this)
19# If recently single it is advised that you do not moan about being single to someone who has been single for alongertime than you.. think about it!
20# If you have previously got with or seen someones boyfriend/guy they like/ guy they are 'seeing' UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES may you discuss your time with said boy, it is very much a taboo subject!
This however can be broken once the said friend has broken up with the guy.. in this instance you may bitch about said guy and share your experiences for the greater good!
21# It is perfectly acceptable (and highly encouraged) to let a complete stranger know their necklace is tangled, clothes tag is hanging out
22# You are morally obligated to stop your friend from getting with a guy you KNOW she will greatly regret in the morning if the said friend is under the influence of alcohol, (this requires use of proper judgement, not hers, yours) In this case 'cock-blocking' is acceptable no matter what the stupid man code says.
23# After breaking up with a guy it is your right to eat a whole box of chocolates/ tub of ice cream without being judged
24# When drunk taking posey pictures if perfectly acceptable.. at that point you think your hot and the camera needs to know it
25# If you have a picture of your friend on facebook/myspace or any other public medium and she dislikes it (and gives sufficient reason as to why she does) it is your duty to remove it
26# If a woman asks her best friend if she looks fat, and she really does, it is the obligation of the friend to tell her that the offending piece of clothing "does nothing for her."
27# A grey bra that is supposed to be white is not acceptable
28# Food eaten while preparing other food has no calories.
29# Women who never binge have no souls.
30# ALWAYS exfoliate before tanning... Also if your friend is turning orange through fake tanning you must make her aware of this
31# No woman at any time shall allow her thong to rise above the waistline of her pants
32# No woman may loudly deem herself "fat" if she is in the presence of an obviously fatter woman.
33# It is perfectly acceptable to announce that you are going on a diet and break it the next day
34# If in a changing room and you friend trys on an outfit that someone else in the changing room has tried on you are obligated to tell said friend that she looks better in it.. however if she looks awful consult rule no#26
35# Don’t ever seek true opinion from a guy on your outfit, if unsure ask a female friend.. this rule however does not apply if you know you look hot in the outfit in which case asking a guy will help you receive compliments which all girls are entitled to.. ...god help you if you infact do not look as hot as you thought you did
36# No woman shall ever go to the ladies' room alone if there is another woman available to go with her.
37# Under no circumstances may two girls whisper to one another in the presence of other girls.. it is plain rude.. share the wealth
38# Friends are obligated to protect and defend the reputation of a friend. Again whether this involves lying or not
39# No girl shall pretend to know / like sports just to be "hot" in front of guys. Knowledge of said sport must be proven by at least 5 statistics and / or an obvious familiarity with the rules of the game.
40# If a friend runs off crying (to the toilet for example)you must atleast count to 10 before following her.. we do not want to make the situation a soap opera/ prove the judgement that girls are melodramatic
41# Always leave the party with the girls you came with unless a mutual agreement has been met
42# Flirting with your friends dad is not permitted.. no matter how attractive you find him (WEIRDO)
43# If your skirt is short enough for the pockets to come out of the bottom, fellow females have the god given right to brand you a slag. However if you're ok with this feel free to wear the skirt, we need someone to bitch about
44# If you are experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, you are permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors you wish without regard to logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior. However this rule does not make you exepmt from any of the other girl rules
45# As women we are allowed to be completely self-absorbed and self obsessed when it comes to A) Our wedding days, B) Our birthdays, C) childbirth, D) Breakups
46# "I have a boyfriend" is a completely acceptable way of turning a guy down, especially if you have to lie about it. Friends when questioned must always back you up on this and ’play along’
47# You're under no obligation to tell the truth when asked the number of your sexual partners
48# It is perfectly acceptable to sing into your hairbrush, as long as in the privacy of your room/ drunk with your close friends
49# No woman shall wear coloured undergarments under any white article of clothing
50# You are perfectly within reason to hate your bf's ex even if she is the nicest girl in the world, feeds the poor, visits old peoples homes and helps out at the local cattery
51# It is perfectly acceptable to use any shiny surface as a mirror to check ones appearance, or merely pose. for example: shop windows, car windscreens, cutlery, one way glass on buildings etc. etc. (Suzy Devereux (Sutton High School)
52# A girl is allowed to come up with cutesy pet names for her boyfriend and use them around his friends for general punishment if he has angered or displeased her in any way.
53# It is your womanly right to take hoodies, boxers and t-shirts from guys without returning them. Hovever this is overuled if said guy is your friends bf/brother/love interest/dad/uncle.. you get the picture
54# Girls should always explain or apologize for not calling another female friend back. We are courteous to our friends.
55# You will always have your best mates 'back'. This is a sign of a true friend.
56# A girl must under to circumstances slap a guy, its so cliche! Instead nutting him will suffice.
57# NEVER EVER say 'i love you' without meaning it. The male population do it enough for both sexes, we don't need to stoop to their level.
58# In no way does a girl have to mean what she says when in conversation with the opposite sex. Some examples are listed (to help the boys out);
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?