Salutations are fancy greetings very rarely used in today's world. Most people who say "salutations" are laughed at or made fun of, but it is still a really cool way to say hello.
Just a regular person with lots of money and lots of attention.
Jack, "Would you consider me a celebrity?"
Frank, "Go buy me a soda."
Jack, "Think I've got a million dollars or something?"
Frank, "Then no."
The learning of the ability to sleep in many different environments and adapting to the comfort levels of various desks, tables, and chairs.
Mom, "Billy, wake up. It's time for school."
Billy, jumping out of his bed, filled with excitement, yells, "Oh, boy! Time to go back to bed!"
A disease that, if not cured, leads to chronic masturbation.
Gosh, I'm so bored. My computer's broke, I didn't pay my cable bill, and I don't have anything to do. Only boredom. Hmm.... porno... yea... sounds pretty good right now...
A jizzlactite is a cave-like formation that is created when one successfully performs a jizz shot that sticks to the ceiling.
-Tour guide, "You'll notice these things that hang from the cave ceiling. They're called stalactites. They are very old."
-Billy, "Is that a stalactite?"
-Tour guide, "Oh my, that's no stalactite. That's a jizzlactite! That must have been from those darn kids in the last tour group!"
A side effect of not playing an MMORPG
I used to raid 30 hours a week on World of Warcraft. Now that I have quit the game and redeemed what was left of my shattered social life, how am I supposed to fill up the time that Warcraft took up? Absolute boredom.
When your bowel movements are so loud and offensive that you turn on the faucet
in an attempt to mask the sound to save yourself some humiliation.
I was at my grandparents' the other day and really had a case of the faushits. I'm pretty sure the entire household heard me dropping a deuce until I cleverly turned on the faucet.