A Matt In The Hat is when you take a slice of texas toast, spread crunchy peanut butter on it, wrap it around your dick, jerk off with the toast, then slap your closest buddy square in the face with the cum-soaked toast.
1. Ohhh, Jerry, you gave Mike a Matt In The Hat... Right in front of his wife?!
2. This guy isn't playing his position, I'm going to give him a Matt In The Hat!