28 definitions by kerry

Someone who stands in corners waiting to "start summat" with anyone who walks by. Townies usually walk around in "crews" varying from 7 to 20 people. Some common characteristics: Female Townie
Lots of "bling bling"
Pink tracksuit
Random Burberry hairband
Hair tied at the side
Really bad attitude problem
Fag in her hand
A bag that can just about fit a £2 coin in
Hair gelled back really tight
So much make up - orange foundation with a line around the edge of the face

Male Townie
Lots of "bling bling"
Blue Tracksuit
Massive rings on every finger
Really bad attitude problem
Fag in his hand
Over gelled hair
HUGE "diamond" earring to show how "manly" he is

Phrases:
"what da fuk do you think you're staring at?"
"are you starting beef wiv me?"
*cough* ""dirty" gof"
*cough* ""dirty" grunga"
"it's not halloween" *townie "crew" all laugh hysterically*
"i'm gonna bang you up innit?"
"don't get moufy/ loud/ lairy wiv me"
"your mum's fat"
"your mum's a slag"
"i fucked your mum last night"
"yo yo bruv!"
"oi blud!"
"omg did you just see that buff boy/ girl?"
" i had sex with 6 people last night" (and they still think their not whores....)

Townies seem to think that shouting at people makes them look "ard", but when you answer back they all run and tell their brothers/ sisters to "bang you up". The most pathetic thing about them is that they think that their "insults" will upset you. Take "it's not halloween" for instance. They seem to think that this will really bother you. And they also think it's funny. But it doesn't bother people. And it's not funny. I think that they should all sit down and try to come up with something more insulting. But then again, what comes out of their heads is completely useless shit and they're not that intelligent. Swearing is part of their limited vocabulary. "Fuk dis" and "fuck dat". If you ever get into a situation where a townie starts shouting at you, even whilst following you, try not to answer back too much, they'll be about 10 more of them around the corner awaiting calls for backup and about 6 more up the road stealing phones or whatever. Townies should die. Then the world would be a better place. Remember this: if in doubt, kill a townie.
Need more information??
See chav or rude boy/girl
by Kerry March 06, 2005
A girl gets pregnant like in the song Love Shack by the B-52's.
You're what?... Tin roof, rusted!
by kerry August 17, 2004
Skater Bam Margera's Mother. She's put of with Bam's stunts throughout the TV series, Viva La Bam. After skate parks, draw bridges, and scary family reunions, she finally stranded Bam and his crew on an island, in the 7th episode of the 1st season, titled 'April's Revenge'.
Ape is one heck of a mother...
by Kerry February 02, 2005
slang for female masturbation
'i walked in while she was flicking the budgie'
by kerry July 17, 2004
Originates from Goole in East Yorkshire, meaning Huge, Massive!
Ooo i cud eat a mackoff peice of cake right now!
by Kerry November 09, 2004
pinch a loaf, take a dump, poop
"Let me go, I gotta go drop a heater."
by Kerry August 14, 2003
a combination of a noob and a boner, generally used to berate someone after they do something stupid
"You nooboner, you suck at Halo!"
by Kerry June 17, 2006

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