an unbearably irritating form of music that uses the same twangy gee-tar and awful wavering voice to sing about a very short list of topics such as: cheating spouse, alcoholics drinking to excess, pickup trucks, bein' a good-ol-boy, not havin' any a them-thar teeth and screwin' horses. this form of music is generally played at hoot n' annies, box socials, barn dances and every store north of georgia that douche bags go to buy cowboy hats even though they have no legitimate need for them. in order for a person to get any kind of enjoyment out of country music, however minimal, one must fall under one or more of the following categories: white women, having unnatural love for cheap beer, owning a yard full of garbage, 3 or more missing teeth, having a lip full of chewing tobacco, attenders of singles' mingles/family reunions, anyone that owns a tractor and thinks that it automatically makes them a cowboy. the more of these criteria met, the bigger the country music fan you are.
bumpkin: YEEEEEHAWWW! hey y'all wanna have a lissen ta my new garth brooks country music see-dee?
yankee: no thanks, i enjoy having a normal intelligence level.
bumpkin: you got a real purdy mouth boy. mmm...
yankee: excuse me?
bumpkin: ain't no body gonna hear you squeal piggy! YEEEEEHAWWW!!!
February 20, 2010