an unbearably irritating form of music that uses the same twangy gee-tar and awful wavering voice to sing about a very short list of topics such as: cheating spouse, alcoholics drinking to excess, pickup trucks, bein' a good-ol-boy, not havin' any a them-thar teeth and screwin' horses. this form of music is generally played at hoot n' annies, box socials, barn dances and every store north of georgia that douche bags go to buy cowboy hats even though they have no legitimate need for them. in order for a person to get any kind of enjoyment out of country music, however minimal, one must fall under one or more of the following categories: white women, having unnatural love for cheap beer, owning a yard full of garbage, 3 or more missing teeth, having a lip full of chewing tobacco, attenders of singles' mingles/family reunions, anyone that owns a tractor and thinks that it automatically makes them a cowboy. the more of these criteria met, the bigger the country music fan you are.
bumpkin: YEEEEEHAWWW! hey y'all wanna have a lissen ta my new garth brooks country music see-dee?
yankee: no thanks, i enjoy having a normal intelligence level.
bumpkin: you got a real purdy mouth boy. mmm...
yankee: excuse me?
bumpkin: ain't no body gonna hear you squeal piggy! YEEEEEHAWWW!!!
February 20, 2010
the place you would rather stick your scrotum than do some thing unpleasant such as: hold your girl friend's purse, make out with your brother, pay your taxes, wiener bump with the guys in the prison shower or blow an elephant with plans to swallow his load.
wife: honey, do you want to watch this dennis quaid movie that i rented?
husband: no thanks, i'd rather t bag a paper shredder.
February 20, 2010
a person with their priorities so far out of whack, that it is both pitiful and annoying. instead of focusing their attention on issues that really matter like out of control crime rates, global starvation or sex offenders, they wine about the man deer hunting to try to feed his family because our country is in a recession and it is a long cherished tradition passed down from father to son for hundreds of years. most of these nuts go as far as trying to strip these rights from us because they cant imagine themselves harvesting an animal for their family. so, in a display of infinite ignorance they think that if they wouldnt do it that it isnt right. this last is particularly amusing because most of these idiots are some form of Christian and according to the Bible, people were given domain over the animals and the animals were given to us for food. animal rights nuts dont understand that the deer population is higher now than it was when the pilgrims settled in.
guy 1: what should i get for my mother in law's birthday?
guy 2: what is she into?
guy 1: shes an animal rights nut.
guy 2: so, she is into sodomy huh? you should give her a picture of you in a leather jacket, eating a steak and wasting some of it. after that, since she is an idiot, you should kick her in the vag.