The American English equivalent to the common, polite Thai expression, "mai pen rai", meaning "it doesn't matter"; an easily accessible communication tool for re-grounding in the midst of a circular, escalating, non-productive, manipulative, or highly emotional argument.
When one partner calmly terminates with "Whatever" (humorous, non-aggro
Valley Girl accent, one eye roll, and heavy sigh acceptable), it allows both participants to remember that their separate "ego chatter" and the subsequent discomfort of those primitive "fight or flight" endocrine hormones surging now through them - is an illusion, all Maya
"Whatever" is the new Western mantra to allow those in our culture to wake up, surrender, let go of the futile need to be "right", to sit in the silence of the moment and return to the underlying reality of love, unity, and connection. Words are increasingly inadequate in this age of “The Quickening.” We have evolved much faster than our spoken language. A simple, compassionately delivered "Whatever" can still that inner turmoil, allow deep breathing to return, help each partner to regain balance and perspective, and reconnect to each other in a more profound and constructive way, through touch, music, art, dance, and lovemaking. Try it! Although many define the term as negative, harsh, cowardly, or maddening, it doesn't have to be! It's not that way in Thailand. Look at it from a different angle.
Valerie: Todd, when I'm calmly trying to tell you for the umpteenth time what my basic needs are, why must you always turn the conversation around, change the subject, and start blaming me for something I'm not even talking about? Why is it always about you and your needs?
Todd: About my needs!? Oh! Like when you had to stay in bed all morning and too damn lazy to move, you started yelling at me at the top of your lungs when I was in the kitchen, screaming at me to take the trash cans out to the curb? Who is the bad guy here!! Huh? Can you ever take responsibility for your shit?!!
(heated exchange back and forth going nowhere)
Valerie: (Wordless now, she reaches out to touch and hold Todd's hand, then embraces him, gets up and turns some soft music on, lights a candle, smiles at Todd, lights some incense. Todd starts to relax and they both shrug and start laughing and then...)