4 definitions by john1million

Top Definition
A turd that takes a lot of toilet paper to wipe away. The name derives from a felt-tip pen that always seems to have a little bit of ink left in it.
Man 1: Blimey, you took a long time in the toilet there, mate.

Man 2: Yes. It was a felt-tip poo and took half a bog-roll to wipe away.
by john1million February 23, 2014

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Where you think you need to pass a solid but on attemtping to do so you break wind. Caused by the turd sublimating due to the release of internal body pressure. Also known as bum trickery.
How was that turd you just did?

Oh, I didn't shit in the end, it was just an episode of anal sublimation. I feel much better now though, thanks for asking.
by john1million November 19, 2013

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A collection of individual pieces of undigested bran left around the anus of healthy eating people, caused by the consumption of large quantities of bran. They usually need a wet-wipe or shower to remove them.

Etymology: A mixture of the words bran and winnits
Just had my regular as clockwork dump, couldn't wipe all the brannits away though
by john1million February 12, 2009

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The ability to use both hands to wank with equal facility
Man 1. Did you know that I'm ambiwankstrous?

Man 2. What does that mean you chuffer?

Man 1. It means I can choke the chicken with both hands equally well
by john1million October 25, 2011

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