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12 definitions by joe neubarth

 
1.
A Basketball Jones is an obsession with the sport of basketball. Kids who play the game and only think of the world in terms of basketball and their potential success at it.
That's all he ever thinks about. He's got a Basketball Jones.
by Joe Neubarth January 21, 2005
 
2.
An individual parent who hovers over their child well into adulthood. Very seldom are there two helicopter parents in one family. One is enough to hover and annoy their thirty or forty year old "child" to the point of extreme exasperation.
He's forty two years old, but his "helicopter parent" mother comes over every day to make certain that absolutely everything in his life is right. (This includes selecting the right food, clothes, furnishings, girlfriends, friends, and job that her darling son has.)
by Joe Neubarth July 05, 2007
 
3.
A person who is in need of sleep who is mindlessly surfing the Internet. Usually an insomniac who gave up tossing and turning in bed and who turned on the computer to have something to do.
I have got to see my doctor about stronger sleeping pills. I was up all night doing the Internet Zombie thing. Gosh, I think I bought four or five things last night but I won't even know what they are until they arrive in the mail.
by Joe Neubarth June 15, 2007
 
4.
The three words that let you know that your (near) intimate relationship has come to an end. Usually delivered from female to male, it is the defining phrase that lets the "dropped" individual finally know that it is OVER.
Donna told him gently, "Dave, you know that I have always been very fond of you; but, now, I want to continue our relationship as just a friend."
by Joe Neubarth March 29, 2005
 
5.
The Global Depression that started in September 2008 and will continue for a dozen years.
The GREATEST DEPRESSION of all time was the global depression that started in 2008.
by Joe Neubarth February 09, 2009
 
6.
H5N1 Bird Flu after it evolved (at Qinghai Lakes in China) into the most lethal strain of virus. It is a "killing machine" that kills all manner of animals and is sweeping the world.
"Sichuan Sheet is estimated to have already killed over twenty thousand Chinese, millions of cows, pigs, monkeys, dogs, cats, and over one hundred million birds of all varieties."

"Yes, of all the Bird Flu strains, it is the worst, by far!"
by Joe Neubarth February 27, 2006
 
7.
An eccentric who is usually driven by religious fever. They will take irrational social or political positions and not care that people will think that they are off balance. Being extreme somehow substantiates their faith.
Those guys doing the beheadings are all wing nuts
by Joe Neubarth March 14, 2005