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11 definitions by jeunt

 
1.
1. An awful meal.
2. A food that literally tastes fecal.
3. A complex dish made with painstaking care but has catastrophically disappointing flavor.
4. Absolutely not a delicacy

The term is used so as not to offend the cook. Polite society tells us that it is rude to be brutally honest when asked how enjoyable a particular meal was. Polite society also tells us it is rude to correct someone's mispronounciation of a word. So, while you said "defecacy," he or she will think you meant "delicacy" but will be too polite to correct you. You can be honest say the meal tasted like a shit but the cook will believe you loved it. Everybody wins.
Q: "...So, did you like the chocolate-marshmallow & cheese meatloaf I made special just for you?"

A: "Uh - yeah, it was a real defecacy."
by JEUNT November 11, 2009
 
2.
An incident where a bowel movement, or any derivative of it such as used toilet paper, are intentionally placed anywhere but in a toilet bowl or otherwise proper disposal receptacle. This is similar to a shitting incident but shitting incidents are accidental in nature. Fecal jihaddists are also sometimes referred to turd terrorists. The most common word uttered by victims of fecal jihad is "FUCK!!"

There are several kinds of Fecal jihaddists.

1: The Roadside Bomber a.k.a. Land Miner
This skillful but sick asshole shits on the ground or floor, it can be anywhere, indoors or outdoors, even in the middle of a five-star restaurant He's like a dog. He wants you to step in it. These guys are usually passive-aggressive cowards; some though just have a sick but excellent sense of humor.

2: The Phantom Menace (or Phantom Shitter)
This guy is similar The Roadside Bomber but he's not quite as dangerous. This individual tends to shit in places where they linger, like a hallway closet or under a bed. People who upper deck are Phantom Menaces.

3: The Suicide Bomber
This is the most unholy of the bunch. This individual will defecate in his or her own pants and keep it there for everyone to bask in. Suicide Bombers often dunch themselves in public and go to places like the food court in the local mall for about two hours while smelling like a shit.
Partygoer: Dude, this party is great and all but I think you're the victim of fecal jihad.

Host: Thanks, but what do you mean by fecal jihad?

Partygoer: Someone made a poopy on your kitchen floor and a few people tracked it though the house.

Host: FUCK!!
by JEUNT January 13, 2010
 
3.
A phenomenon that occasionally occurs in social gatherings that devolve into a nostalgia-fest conversation about fecal incidents such as soiling underwear, quality bowel movement and/or alcohol fueled defecating incidents. Inevitably, the conversation becomes a string of awful fish-stories about large bowel movements and creative placement and/or uses of them. The conversation becomes more and more repugnant at a exponential pace. Ultimately, the least attractive person of the coversation wins with the most horrifically grotesque story about his or her colon meat.
"...Last week, at Joe's bachelor party, Eric told us this story about crapping his pants on the way home from work that week. For some reason, the stripper decided she should become part of the conversation and told a story about how she once deuced through her g-string thereby cutting the turd in two. Eric rebutted by regaling us with a tale of a boat trip where he made some starboard diarrhea or something like that. That touched off about an hour of one upmanshit where each had one less appetizing story after the next...."
by JEUNT November 20, 2009
 
4.
1. A cheap, stingy, mooching pothead.

2. A marijuana smoker who will gladly smoke other people's buds when available but suddenly is not in the mood to smoke (share) when he or she is the only one who has any.

3. That guy who calls you up to hang out only after you just acquired some happy greens but does not call you on the rare occasion when he has some because he is a cheap fucktooth who would not even pay for his own toilet paper.
Q: Hey, where's Ry-guy at?

A: Oh, I didn't call him. I smoked that cheap fartmunchkin every Tuesday for the last two months. He hasn't returned the favor ever. He's a typical grasshole. I just found out he bought a whole ounce of kind two weeks ago and didn't offer me any.
by JEUNT November 20, 2009
 
5.
An abnormally time-consuming, large, pasty and often painful bowel movement. As a general rule, taking a dunch requires most of one's lunch break to pass loaf or loaves and finish the paperwork.
Q: "...Hey Bob, I'm going to that sushi joint with the girls from accounting. You wanna come?"

A: "...I'd love to but I have to take a horrendous dunch." I'll see you at the 3:00 meeting."
by JEUNT November 11, 2009
 
6.
An occurence where a bowel movement is unintentionally placed anywhere but in a toilet bowl or otherwise proper disposal receptacle. This is similar to fecal jihad or turd terrorism but differ in the fact that fecal jihad and turd terrorism are intentional acts.
Example 1:

Q: Dude, you're like two hours late. We already saw the movie. Where the hell were you?

A: Oh, sorry man. I ate two bowls of bran cereal, two bananas and a pot of coffee this morning. I got stuck in traffic on the way here. I couldn't hold it in any more and had a severe shitting incident in my pants. I had to go back home and clean up. My car is disgusting right now.

Example 2:
Q: So, uh, I heard you had an interesting evening last night...?

A: Um, yeah. I had a pretty bad shitting incident at a bar. I suddenly had to go, like immediately. There was some fat asshole pissing in the crapper for about three weeks. I held it in as long as I could. As soon as I got in there, I took off my pants but a pound of crap shotgunned out long before I could sit down. It was everywhere but in the bowl. Some may have hit the ceiling. I had to leave the bar out the back door.
by JEUNT January 13, 2010
 
7.
1. The odor of a sweaty yambag, reminiscent of a taco that has been sitting at room temperature for several days.
2. Scrotom odor.
3. A sweaty male undercarriage. Musicians, most notably drummers, experience sweaty crotches from playing. Removal of pants often smells like an abandoned taco after a gig
4. Hot balls.
Q: Hey, you want to go to that nudy bar after the gig?

A: I gotta get a shower first. I have some rancid tacobag going.
by JEUNT November 20, 2009