1 definition by jessicaLC

Top Definition
A guy at Pennsylvania State University, University Park that every student at the university has probably heard yammer endlessly quite a few times as they pass the Willard building (A place where 99% of the study body has had at least one class), and many have argued against for fun. Basically, he spits out Christian bullshit condemning the world we live in every day, and apparently gets paid $30,000 a year to do it, what the hell!

Anyway, for example, he talks about how condoms don't help us at all, when they're obviously better than nothing, how abortion is a horrible thing and should be made illegal, when it isn't the grounds of a religion to ban such in the United States, a country with, as he quotes a lot, has the first amendment (Although yes, it's debatable because some other people have the belief against abortion as well), and how men should be working, and women should be in the house, which he justifies with "scientific research" on people's minds and traditional roles, when this is clearly sexism as one doesn't choose to be male or female.

And finally, my favorites, how a family with two homosexual parents is horrible for a child, when they're typically better than straight couples in terms of a child growing up well. And even better, another about how homosexuals are evil for condemning fundamentalist Christians as homophobes...

But of course, this all programmed stuff he doesn't put a lot of thought into, I mean really, take a look at this link. Section 4C...how do you get that wrong? LOL


And if you're to lazy to click the link, I quote:


4. Homosexuality does not fulfill the created biological order:

A. Women have a vagina where the male penis has been created to go.

B. There is no such place on the male body.

C. The penis is meant to go into the vagina and women don’t have one.

Ummmm, yeah--women don't have vaginas? If you're all knowing Mr. Willard Preacher, than I'm really happy now as I identify as transsexual. What you're saying is that I'm more of a woman than most others because I have a penis at the moment...I LOVE YOU lol--jk, I know what you meant, but still.

Hey, by the way, if as before, you believe men should be doing all the work, why don't you get a REAL JOB bud, be a productive force in the world, rather than try to convert a bunch of intelligent students at a public ivy who can think for themselves to convert to a religion that does it all for them. I mean seriously, at least in Judaism, my religion, I'm told that I should ask questions and you have room to challenge traditional values and live your own Jewish life; you're just told by the church what to believe, and that's it.
Willard Preacher: But why, why do the homosexuals label us as homophobes? We're not homophobes, we are simply people who don't believe that the human penis belongs in another man's tuchus, and that there is no possible way for two women to have sex naturally at all. Men were born with a penis, and women a vagina, and it is only natural that the two go together, and not for pleasure, but to make children, and children only. So, two men, doing whatever that blasphemous stuff is that they do, isn't that against g-d, isn't that against nature? Same thing with women, there is no way they're compatible. So, I don't think we're homophobes, if anything they're the bigots trying to change the natural law of things. They should go to hell.

Jenny: (Walking by hand and hand with her girlfriend, Kate) Sir, I hate to break it to you, but woman and woman, we can have sex, what I've had with Kate here is better than anything I've ever had with a guy. Shut your trap and get your facts straight before you start telling people to live their lives in way that doesn't make them happy, yet the life that would make them happy wouldn't hurt them or anyone else.

Kate: Yeah, like seriously, if anything, you're the one who should be going to hell here, it's only one sin--and you make dozens a day telling people this I'm sure. If g-d told you to have sex with men only, and yet you were still straight, I'm sure you would still only enjoy sex with women

Jenny: By the way, will you actually tell us your name and where you live? Everyone here is curious.

Willard Preacher: No, why would I tell you two fuckup dykes where I live (sidenote: I've honestly heard the Willard Preacher use the word faggot before against people who asked a similar question...I wouldn't be surprised if he said that).

Jenny: Wow--whatever, I'm going up to Math, bye!
by jessicaLC September 24, 2009

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