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23 definitions by jack bozdog

 
15.
One long, continuous turd purposefully left in the toilet by its former owner as a "trophy shit".

It spirals around the inside of the bowl, showing those who enter the John Q. Public afterwards just how supremely talented, artistic, and considerate, its manufacturer is.

KAREN: Wow, that was fast!

WILLY: Yeah, well, I didn't use the John, because there was a coiled snake in one stall ...

KAREN: A coiled snake! Oh my God! Did you tell the manager?

WILLY: No, honey, someone left a big, huge, turd in the John. It stunk like Hell, and I wanted to flush it, but it was laying on top of a gigantic TP plug. And the other toilet had john cummings on the seat.

KAREN: Whose that?

WILLY: You know (doing a "jerk off" motion) like "dick cummings" or "peter cummings" but on the john.

KAREN: Oh.

WILLY: On the way back, I'm checking out the gas station across the street, maybe they take better care of their John Q. Public!

KAREN: I get it! You mean CUSTOMERS, right?
by Jack Bozdog June 24, 2006
 
16.
Ed Wood. Ed = Erectile Dysfunction. Wood = Erection. A misnomer? An oxymoron? A cuntradickshun? No, Ed wood = a viagara dependant erection.
GERTRUDE: Grandpa has been an "Ed Johnson" for a couple of years, if you know what I mean. But, he recently started taking viagara, and he's become an "Ed Wood" lately. Even a "Tiger Wood"!

CINDY: Gee, thanks for telling me, Grandma. That was really a whole lot more than I never wanted to know.
by Jack Bozdog June 06, 2006
 
17.
An very hard and erect penis.
I got a woody johnson just looking at that elevator chick over there!
by Jack Bozdog June 07, 2006
 
18.
The Canadian U.S.A. border. It is prononced "CAN-U.S.A.".
Our Off-road club will take on your off-road club across CANUSA anytime!
by Jack Bozdog August 03, 2006
 
19.
An UNATTRACTIVE female dork. An ATTRACTIVE female dork is called a "Dorkette".
You can NOT turn Bertha into a Prom Queen by just taking off her glasses and changing her hairstyle. Bertha is NOT a Dorkette, she is a Dorkus!

Maybe with some liposuction and some ProActive. Maybe.
by Jack Bozdog August 03, 2006
 
20.
Supposed to be the same as "ketchup', ie, a condiment made from tomatoes. Hello! Is anyone in there? Wake up! It's Cat soup! It says so, in fricanese, right on the label!
AT FELINE ADOPTION CENTER:

SAD GIRL: "I am so sad, I need to get rid of my cat because I am moving into an apartment where no pets are allowed."

ATTENDANT: "Everything will be fine. We'll find a nice home for her."

SAD GIRL LEAVES.

ATTENDANT: "The bitch left, here's another cat for the giant CATSUP (cat soup) blender!"

by Jack Bozdog July 01, 2006
 
21.
A woman with nice legs, nice hips, and big hair, but no tits.
Yeah! I fucked the Hell out of Mary last night!

Wow! I bet it was great seeing her naked!

Well, she does look pretty damn good naked, but, she must stuff her bra or wear falseys or somethin', she is definitely an ostrich dude.

by Jack Bozdog December 09, 2006